Source
r/OCPoetry•
wideopenflame

Dear Lover,

Poem

I want to consume you.

Take you in whole.

Like a snake eating its prey.

I want to know, have, see, handle all the parts.

But I also want to savor every piece of you.

Tease myself with you.

Carefully taste every nuance of truth in the blue sea of your eyes.

Feel every wave of emotion that ebbs through you. Have its salt burn my skin.

And the heat burn me up into ashes to travel with the wind blowing over your chest.

To feel the heart alive inside you and hear the words it spells out with its beats.

I already know it is worth the wait.

I already know I’ll move in slow motion with you.

I already know how bad it hurts.

I already know the treasures awaiting me.

I have already decided to frolic and play in your oceans and weather your storms.

And it doesn’t matter if I die here in your hurricanes

or find frightening monsters in your depths

or if I am left abandoned on a secluded island.

I’m coming anyway.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/wtwc0b/a_strangers_meeting/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/wtoso2/love_you_or_not/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

Posted Aug 21, 2022, 12:43 PM UTC · edited

2232
Crossroadsfare•

Really powerful imagery, love is likely the oldest subject and I thoroughly enjoy how your writing paints a picture of how consuming love can be. Thank you for sharing!

5
wideopenflameOP•

Thank you. And yes. Love. The most compelling of all stories to us humans. Why do you think that is?

3
ViSaph•

Because it is the most compelling of all emotions. Love is what drives us, keeps us going when we want to give up. Love is what every normal human wants, be it love of our friends, families, or romantic partners. Love is the great motivator.

I have full body chronic pain and half a dozen conditions that basically mean every second of every day is agony for me, I have nerve shakes that make doing lots of thing difficult, if I get even the slightest cold I'm bedbound for a week, if I have a pain flare I can be bedbound for much longer. My existence is pain and I have very little quality of life. If it were for my own sake I'd kill myself today. Kill myself and end my suffering.

But I love my family. I love them more than anything in existence. I love them enough that I stay for them. Because killing myself wouldn't just get rid of my pain, it would be giving them pain in exchange for mine. It would kill my mum I think and I know my little brothers adore me. Even my moody teenage sister has begged me not to leave her. I would suffer anything for their sake.

4
wideopenflameOP•

This is so tragic. And so incredibly beautiful. The raw truth in it so evident. I am so sorry. Pain is a very big burden indeed. And yours sounds relentless and cumbersome and overwhelming. I am so glad you have love’s warm comfort to wrap yourself in. I hope you find moments of peace. I hope you are able to enter states where you forgot that you hurt. I pray you get some relief.

And you are so incredibly brave. The things we will face for love. You are absolutely right, it simply is the most compelling of all emotions. I wish I could hug you gently. 🥰🙏

2
Crossroadsfare•

I can only offer my opinion to that question, but I personally believe it’s because love gives a sense of purpose to pain. It brings connection to the parts of us that we see as unconnectable. The more jaded part of my brain says it’s an evolutionary trait that ensured progeny was better suited to work towards the continuation of a species. Keep at writing and maybe we can add to the truth of the matter.

3
wideopenflameOP•

Thank you for answering this like it was a real question. It was. I will keep thinking on it.

2
[deleted]•

[removed]

1
inviolablegirl•

This was INTENSE. You can taste the emotion, very beautiful.

5
CaveDances•

Sounds a little creepy at times, Starts off okay, “Handle all the parts?” Objectifying the female or male body. “Feel every wave of emotion ebb through you” I like because it ties emotion to the flowing of waves, good symbolism.

3
Afoolfortheeons•

This is a powerful piece. I can feel the strength of your love for this person through your words. Your imagery is excellent. This reads more like prose though. I think if you said the same thing, but with a little additional structure, it would increase the potency of your words. Not like a rhyme scheme or meter, but rather how you group the lines together to create a natural rhythm for the read to take in your words and signal momentary pauses to enhance the dramatic effect of the most powerful things you wanted to say. You wouldn't even have to modify the wording that much to create something aesthetically pleasing. But, regardless, I enjoyed it and I hope you keep making more poetry!

2
Love_PotionNo69•

Oooo! I love this so much! ❤ The imagery of a snake slowly consuming and digesting it's prey (love) is exquisite.. and also erotic! There is much potential for story line!

Constructively, I might suggest adding more lines of descriptive imagery about the prey. You might describe the lover in either a mousy like innocence or a perhaps even a dirty rat..? I don't know... There's so much to play around with! You've opened a treasure chest so have fun! (:

2
wideopenflameOP•

It’s your treasure chest now, Love Potion. Run with it. That’s why I’m here. To give and take inspiration. Would love to read where you go with it. Let me know…

2
Zsheezor•

Love the romance, the intimacy of heart, mind and body! Such a great illustration of communing as one. Your heart is yours, but you desire for their heart and body to be one with you too and vice versa. Deep! Thanks for sharing!

2
wideopenflameOP•

Thank you for your reply.

2
wideopenflameOP•

😊

2
cupidalaskaxo•

The imagery used here is very good. I feel you’ve done a great job at conveying the overall sense of urgency, fear and want that sometimes comes with a relationship/somebody we like. You’ve wrote a beautiful, well written piecepiece and

2
wideopenflameOP•

Thank you so much!

1
Onykaa•

Oh wow! I know these feelings! I love how simple and yet how powerful this is. Very passionate indeed

2
wideopenflameOP•

Thank you. 🥰

1
kitzxu•

FK YES. GOOD. VERY GOOD.

2
DarkNihilismInc•

This piece is simply amazing. It truly captured the essence of love and passion. To want to explore someone to their depths no matter the consequences. That last line, I wonder....how many times has it been uttered to lovers. That proverbial moment in love and desire where one says "I don't care, I'm still coming" or something similar in nature. To be enthralled by someone that deeply can possibly mean pain later but oh what exquisite, passionate pain it will be.

2
wideopenflameOP•

Yes. Yesss. Yessssssss! (Plus, bonus of the double innuendo.) This human. I must chase down. I must follow this lead wherever it goes. I must know what I can of these things inside him. This is the next direction for me. And the results don’t matter. Truly. Just the experiences. I will face all that comes.

2
Mysterious-Primary-6•

Tasting the salt from one’s ocean eyes is a phenomenal sensory and allegorical touch. I would either add more repetition or not repeat at all (as a minor critique).

Beautiful.

2
wideopenflameOP•

I think maybe at that point the salt is burning skin, it’s coming from the waves of emotion, not the eyes anymore. With the water and snake references there are heavy sexual overtones IMO. This just poured out of me yesterday morning actually in the middle of my workout. I stopped a lot yesterday because ideas were coming from all angles. It was preceded by an ugly, angry, hate filled rant. You know. 🤷‍♀️ Maybe this wiring was like makeup sex. Life is so wonderfully crazy.

2
Mysterious-Primary-6•

When the creative energy is exuding in an undeniable way, there is momentary freedom. Stay wide open, flame 🔥

2
Future_Addiction1031•

As someone who loves obsessively, passionately, and chaotically, this poem is bittersweetly familiar

2
wideopenflameOP•

Yesss!! Why would you love any other way? Love with abandon or is that love?! (Insert Taylor Swift, Don’t Blame Me here. I’m obsessed with this song right now anyway so it’s always plying in my head.) 🥰

2
Future_Addiction1031•

I need to check this song out, feed my inner 13 year old with some Taylor Swift lol. But it turns toxic pretty quickly and painful for the other half of a relationship when someone constantly seeks out rejection and abandonment where there is none.

2
xbeebzx•

As everyone else has already said, fucking amazing! Simple yet so powerful and evocative! Might be tmi but as a person with bpd we have thing this where we have this want to become one with our "favorite person" or partner. Before I was diagnosed, my partner used to get creeped out when I would say "I want to crawl inside of your skin", yes IT DOES sound very Jeffrey Dahmer! But my intentions were pure, I just wanted to be as close to him as physically possible! Haha! That hit home! Amazing job!

2
wideopenflameOP•

Thank you. I’m so glad you get it.

1
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1
Sad_Walk_6499•

God dammit Leslie Ann wtf like I can't read and hear you ? Why ?

1
wideopenflameOP•

What just happened here? Maybe try the right account. 🤪

1