Your Love

Your love never felt like love

your love felt like pity,

no, not the generous kind,

but the kind that you show

to old beggars when they stand

in front of you while you are busy

creating moments for your life.

Your love was not like love

your love was like immortality

but it came only for me.

My side of love coughed blood

but couldn't die while yours

died the moment it had to

walk a step alone.

Your love never felt like love

your love felt like agony

not the kind that's served in hell

but the kind that's served in purgatory

every second getting purified by fire

yet I cannot ascend to heaven

cause the god that I chose wasn't just.

Your love was not like love

your love was like an arrangement

where I rented out myself

so that you can take shelter

from the hurricane your life had become,

while my demons stay locked in backyard

waiting to tear me apart the moment I let go.

Your love never felt like love

your love felt like fear

no, not the one that makes you afraid

but the one that eats you from inside

until you're nothing but a hollow shell

of insecurities & abandonments,

stumbling at every corner cause of anxieties.

Your love was not like love

your love was like a war

where I battled myself

every day and night just to make sure

that the love you wanted in return

for showing me a bit of affection

wasn't out of pity, agony, or fear.

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