[2440] Goodbye Horses, Part 3

Hey guys,

I posted the first two parts of this here a while ago... then I had a really busy run of festivals and life got hectic for a bit. But basically my main character is a drug dealer, he is obsessed with this woman he met and he is currently living in her attic without her knowledge.

This is one excerpt from a long chapter in a novel. So obviously there is a lot more to the story than just this. Also, I know this is going to come up in critiques. My main character's name isn't mentioned once in this whole excerpt. Considering this is 5 pages out of 400ish pages, to me that isn't a big deal. Anyone who was to sit and read the whole thing knows who he is and knows who they are reading about. But, just in case it's killing anyone here not knowing, his name is Jeremy.

In my opinion, all feedback is good feedback. Harsh critiques don't offend me either. So don't be afraid to let me have it. Harsh critiques help me learn.

Story:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1KXXSqr3xJqdKbdBCQDYvN4W7X9pceapC9L4_pa9ruYU/edit?usp=sharing

Latest Crit:

https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/wz79yy/comment/im6qldi/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

Thanks in advance.