Thanks, Really appreciate it. I don't believe in needing to follow a strict formula, but if it lacks some form of geometry then in my opinion it's more of a text than a poem.

I enjoyed this very much. I have recently gotten back into poetry, and it's been a wild ride. Sometimes, I feel exactly what you describe in your poem here: the "dualism" of "where meaning is and is not," of feeling "emotions afloat." I like that image, and particularly appreciate the rhyming of your poem. I have a hard time thoroughly enjoying poems that aren't rhymed, so this concise yet vivid piece was perfect. Thank you!


Hello readers, welcome to OCpoetry. This subreddit is a writing workshop community -- a place where poets of all skill levels can share, enjoy, and talk about each other's poetry. Every person who's shared, including the OP above, has given some feedback (those are the links in the post) and hopes to receive some in return (from you, the readers).

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The first verse is brilliant and definitely resonated with me. Kudos!

Thanks, yeah i guess. But still, probably need a thesaurus to fix the rest

I also really like the first verse! for the second, maybe try it without the yet? I don't think you need it but that might just be me

I'm not quite happy with the second verse. Don't like the two feels, but I can't find a better way to do it. I could just leave it out but I think it might be to open otherwise. Reactions and criticism all welcome.

It's short and poignant. You get right to the heart of your inner conflict here. It more so left me yearning to see the idea develop further. You talk about the act of feeling,  and infer a sense of apathy and guilt that you feel things at all. You mention out of body experience, where you're in states of both intense attachment and detachment at once. It would be interesting to see you explore these themes deeper and put us in your shoes.

>You have moments in life  
Moments of surrealism  
Where meaning is and is not  
It's sublime The dualism

Yes! Just yes! This is amazing and very true. 

&#x200B;

10/10.

You have moments in life  
Moments of surrealism  
Where meaning is and is not  
It's sublime The dualism  
  
Emotions afloat  
You feel  
Yet it seems so petty  
But you feel  
  
  
[1](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/x0i6fw/dark_side_of_the_moon/im973x4?utm_medium=android_app&amp;utm_source=share&amp;context=3)

[2](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/wzubeh/litter/im97m9f?utm_medium=android_app&amp;utm_source=share&amp;context=3)
  
Edit: formatting