I refuse

I refuse

I refuse to see you holding her hand

I refuse to see you diving in her eyes

I refuse to see the love vibes

I quit

I cant

I wish that I wasnt here to witness

I wish that I wasnt the one to know you

I wish I didnt know what you said was about her

I refuse to know

I hope I never will

I refuse to aknowledge

The deception I felt

The day I knew you and I werent meant

I refuse to destroy

My moments with you

I refuse to remember

The fake happiness I showed

When I knew you and her were together

It still hurts

It still aches to know

That no matter how much I can handle

Your love is too strong to bend

I roll up like a ball

Refusing to feel

My sadness and fear

That my feelings will persist

I clench and try to heal

I pretend I didnt hear

Your sadness and fears

I pretend I didnt think

That we were meant to be

I refuse to aknowledge

How much pain I feel

I refuse to be sad

But how can I fucking heal?

If I see you holding hands, If I roll up and cleanch, if I scream in pain?

How will I be

A happy soul again??!

I am wounded forever

And you owe me ever

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