Source
r/OCPoetry•
WhimsicalHamster

Cigarette

NSFWPoem

Do you know when you light a cigarette

And you're puffing up a storm,

You suck in calm and breathe out clouds.

It's bad for you but it's good for you?

Butt

Light another cigarette.

​

Have you ever gone to buy some cigarettes

When you're overwhelmed?

Backed against a wall - facing your regrets,

Click-click... Pfffff... Haaaaaa...

Clarity

​

Have you ever gone to buy some cigarettes

When you feel achieved?

Addiction is a fickle thing,

I know it all to well.

I've beat it before - what is another more?

It's worth its weight in gold,

"This product causes cancer,"

Now worth even more.

​

Have you ever gone to buy some cigarettes

When you're so afraid?

What's going on Can I deal with this?

I'm trying just to handle things,

Is it normal for this many curves?

Existence is absurd.

​

Have you ever gone to buy some cigarettes

When you hate your life?

Puff-puff here, puff-puff there...

Contemplation stimulation realization

Mind-racing heart bounding fingers shaking.

Life hating.

​

Have you ever gone to buy some cigarettes

When you know it's just a trope?

I just may be sick in the head

But at least I smoke relief.

Three quarters of my people.

That's how much we smoke.

​

Have you ever gone to buy some cigarettes

When you just want to feel pain?

When your mind is just exploding

And you crave to feel again.

Push lit square upon skin,

Forever scarred, feeling remains.

​

Have you ever gone to buy some cigarettes

And felt like a consumer?

Humanity exhales money,

Just to breathe in poison,

But are we to blame?

Beauty, lust, or even fame,

All needed -

Simply strike a flame.

​

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2

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Thank you!

Edit: 2 hours after this post, this cigarette poem was also posted. I think it’s significant. I think we’re starting to all see the same problems, challenges, reliefs, and retreats as a society.

Posted Sep 4, 2022, 7:28 AM UTC · edited

2319
TheLangerz•

I don't really know how to critique poetry, but I can say I love this poem. Although you can never interpret the true and exact meaning of each line the poet writes or the reason why it's structured how it is, I like to think that the repetition of "Have you ever gone to buy some cigarettes" at the start of each stanza is representative of the repetitive nature of addiction and how buying cigarettes becomes routine. the only thing I would suggest is to limit your use of end stop, as with a poem like this it can add a lot of emphasis to the finality of things however loses this emphasis when used too often.

4
WhimsicalHamsterOP•

Really grateful for the feedback! The punctuation, line length, and phrasing are all an attempt to match the timing of smoking a cigarette. Inhale, pause, exhale, pause.

However, I tend to over punctuate often so you’re probably right

2
blahbloopooo•

I get the sense that you understand and have an intimate relationship with your addiction.

That you hate it but that it feels a part of yourself.

I am not a smoker myself but I have struggled with addiction to other things, after all the world is built to addict us now, a byproduct of a consumerist world where repeated consumption makes the wealthy wealthier. So I think your poem is very relatable even to non-smokers. It's crazy how an addiction can be a 'solution' to all kinds of feelings, really what we are craving is something we cannot understand. Quitting always is an enlightened and difficult thing to do, good luck.

3
WhimsicalHamsterOP•

I don’t smoke cigs

1
blahbloopooo•

What inspired this poem?

2
WhimsicalHamsterOP•

Last night I worked until 11pm. My dad told me he was going to the bar around 9pm. I get anxious when he goes out drinking. So somewhere between having a breakdown, emailing my old professor about some stuff, and playing madden 23 I spit this out.

2
WhimsicalHamsterOP•

By the way thank you for your feedback! I didn’t mean to come across rude, I do think you had a great reading

1
blahbloopooo•

That's ok, you made me realise I made assumptions I shouldn't have, which is always useful learning :)

2
marriedtomayonnaise•

Simply wow. As someone who’s gone back to smoking because life started to suck, this hit every note beautifully. Saving it, it’s one of the best poems I’ve read in a long long long while. Keep it up :)

3
WhimsicalHamsterOP•

Thank you so much! If you’d like, I can inbox you another poem you might connect with

3
marriedtomayonnaise•

I’d love that my friend :)

2
younggodicarus•

Not the best at critiquing however having quit myself, I really love and embrace how visceral and visual this piece is. Especially where you crave to feel again..that’s the thing with addiction I wish more people got and the fact you said it so eloquently is on the money. I hope to see more from you

3
WhimsicalHamsterOP•

Thanks a ton! I’ve quit and gone back several times (currently off em). And every time when I’m about to start again, I tell myself, well shit it wasn’t too hard to quit and stay off this long, and I do enjoy a square so I’ll just have one. Nah lol

1
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2
astrayan0•

I’m no critic, but this was visceral through and through. I smokes cigarettes so it hit me deep. Used to say I smoked just to die faster. So, you hit a pretty soft spot on me, and that’s what good poetry does. Congratulations!

2
WhimsicalHamsterOP•

Thank you for exposing yourself like that, that’s a big aim for this piece! I challenge you to expand the tobacco industry to the rest of society…it’s not just cigs we suck down.

2
GroceryWorkerBee•

I love this poem. I also wrote a poem about cigarettes at the same time and posted mine just a few hours after and it’s interesting to see how our poems are so different. I loved how this poem was about all the ways we use cigarettes and also the way they affect us negatively and positively. Awesome poem!

2
reggaemylitis34•

I’ll light up a winston to this my man

1
WhimsicalHamsterOP•

You do you. I’ve smoked Newport, camel blues, camel Turkish royals, pal mal red, Marlboro red, edgefields, luckys. I’m still not happy :)

1