Source
r/OCPoetry•
Renzom28

Red Shawl

Poem

Red shawl hanging in a café

Reminded me of you

And it was still the same winter

Just a different point of view

With my hands in my pocket

And the wool around your neck

Down into the night streets

I wished we wouldn’t come back

Yes to be caught up in a landscape

So dimly lit and true

I was counting on my fingers

The time I had with you

Now I got my driving license

And tonight it’s gonna freeze

But I’m really in those old streets

Although I threw away the keys

Yes you can live in different worlds

But in the end, it’s still the same

It doesn’t matter what you look like

Even if you change your name

And the shawl that you were wearing

Slowly drifts out of sight

It’s like you’re watching an old movie

Where everything's in black and white

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/x5n441/comment/in26d3s/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

And:

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/x5h7jq/comment/in26lfi/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

Posted Sep 4, 2022, 5:42 PM UTC

33
danse32369•

The first four verses are just perfect. I really like the theme. The overall poem is amazing. Very descriptive. Good job.

3
cobrakaiaccountant•

Great description but also I like the cadence of the poem. Not sure if on purpose but regardless very well done!

2
AutoModeratorMOD•

Hello readers, welcome to OCpoetry. This subreddit is a writing workshop community -- a place where poets of all skill levels can share, enjoy, and talk about each other's poetry. Every person who's shared, including the OP above, has given some feedback (those are the links in the post) and hopes to receive some in return (from you, the readers).

If you really enjoyed this poem and just want to drop a quick comment, to show some appreciation or give kudos, things like "great job!" or "made me cry", or "loved it" or "so relateable", please do. Everyone loves a compliment. Thanks for taking the time to read and enjoy.

If you want to share your own poem, you'll need to give this writer some detailed feedback. Good feedback explains from your point of view what it was like to read the poem, and then tries to explain how the poem made you feel like that. If you're not sure what that means, check out our feedback guide, or look through the comment sections of any other post here, or click the links to the author's feedback above. If you're not sure whether your comments are feedback, or you have any other questions, please send us a modmail.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1