The ebbs and flows…

Getting used to the ebbs and flows of it all is exhausting. Some days, I feel so free and happy and content. Others, I just miss him. And I wonder if I’ll ever be able to stop thinking of our time together with such heartbreak and disappointment. Sometimes it’s hard to believe that it’s all just a memory now. Even if I’m glad to that the pain is over, the end of it all will always be bittersweet, I think.

He gave me the silent treatment for a week after love bombing me and then I blocked him on everything. In the past he’d reach out via email, other numbers, etc. but not this time. I’ve been awaiting the Hoover and it’s been another week and a half and it hasn’t come. Obviously idk if he tried calling or texting. It hurts me so much that he pulled the whole cycle so quickly and now hasn’t tried again to contact me. I know I don’t really want it, but it’s hitting me that maybe he never will try again…I don’t know. I’m so tired of trying to make sense of nonsense. But tonight, I just wish he would hold me.