The Artist

Workshop

The artist broken— soul in pain

Like shattered glass, its purpose lost

Like leaves of paper left in rain

​

The Ship of Dreams, a drowned campaign

A bolt from blue, his flesh embossed

The artist broken— soul in pain

​

A beauty that he can’t explain

But shunned and thrown to heartless frost

Like leaves of paper left in rain

​

The screams and cries of friends remain

His heart of iron scored and crossed

The artist broken— soul in pain

​

An echo of the inhumane

A nightmare that he can’t exhaust

Like leaves of paper left in rain

​

And yet he caused the millions slain

The man behind the holocaust

The artist broken— soul in pain

Like leaves of paper left in rain.

​

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Posted Sep 7, 2022, 8:54 AM UTC

1710
GroceryWorkerBee•

I liked this poem because I had to really think about every line. I loved the line like leaves of paper left in rain but I felt it would be more powerful if used less like maybe twice in the most powerful spots. Love your poem you don’t have to change anything just a suggestion.

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Oldhippie52•

Hmm where to start it's so hard to comment on this poem it brings to mind so many things to me. The refrain "leaves of paper left in rain" was interesting more later...

To me it was invoking the writing/creating process, where the Artist is agonizing over what or how much to include in the Artist' work. I see that agony repeatedly in the verses. That is reinforced by "like shattered glass" and "a drowned campaign." The Artist is afraid of losing the point in "its' purpose lost". Was the Artist trying to include high/lofty ideals as in "the ship of dreams"? So you see the problems or things hitting me as I read your work, what it was trying to say to me (which I hope you were trying to say).

So the Artist struggles onward and puts his work out there in faith it will be seen and appreciated. The Artist withstood criticism from friends and the heartless world even though his words were like swords to millions who he slayed.

And yet the Artist put his work out, like paper in the rain, to be washed out and dissolved away? This caused the Artist pain as his works were eventually washed away as the refrain keeps saying.

It also makes me think of photojournalists, as they capture fleeting images of inhumanity, such as the little girl hurt in the nam war, or the terrible destruction of the war in Ukraine, or many other tragedies in the world. HOw a photojournalist covering those must feel, the agony inside. Your poem brings all of that to mind, swirling around like crazy in my head. Which is why I hope my comment was decipherable!

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corabow•

This is a beautiful poem from start to finish. It flows so well. My favourite line is, ‘The Ship of Dreams, a drowned campaign.’ It’s so emotive! I love the the repetition alternates until the final stanza where both lines are reunited.

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Nice to see a villanelle here :)

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Dismal-Ad3897•

interesting poem. I wasn't expecting the end at all. I really like the imagery

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haywhat•

Firstly, the flow is perfect. The repeatition really evokes the pain the artist feels and as another said, you end up re reading it coz you have to think about it. I also like how the artist is always going through the same cycle. Admittidly, the last verse makes me know that I don't fully understand what this poem is about, but it evokes great emotions.

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theslyblueberryOP•

ah yeah, thanks for the feedback- the poem is actually abt hitler; his struggles and failures, showing how characterising him as anything other than a broken man exempts him from any social responsibility

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Oldhippie52•

I would have never known it. I thought the millions slain actually referred to how the Artist works were "slaying" audiences over the world. Just goes to show that a poem can mean many things to different people.

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LoocsinatasYT•

Very nice indeed, great work friend! Really made me think.

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