This is really ominous, I like it. The simile of the Pavlov dog is nice touch. The whole poem gives me a sense of paranoia

I like the sense of dread and paranoia throughout the poem. Aside from some grammatical errors, I do think that the poem could be a little more fleshed out. I think this is a solid first draft!

you're right about it being a rough draft but I'm glad that you were able to abstract meaning from this poem that even I didn't think of

The monster is *you*. We’re our own worst enemies. Don’t get caught up in religious jargon that was designed to keep you afraid while holding freedom of choice in contempt. Embrace your monster, greet it face-to-face, learn what it’s about, and what makes it tick. You may just find exactly what it takes to tame it with enough practice and discipline… as for your poetry itself, I love the concept and how you addressed the internal struggle of this piece, but I feel like it’s a first draft. It could definitely use some editing with punctuation, missing words, formatting, etc, but regardless I still enjoyed it. Keep it up!

It's a dark poem. The satan is given too much significance for my liking. It's not fair to attribute ones emotions to some1 sinister. But hey this is art n I won't be mad at it.

Sure the pen bleeds ink yet no violence is metted out to it. Fair one mate, keep going for I'd love to read a longer version.  👍 good luck


Hello readers, welcome to OCpoetry. This subreddit is a writing workshop community -- a place where poets of all skill levels can share, enjoy, and talk about each other's poetry. Every person who's shared, including the OP above, has given some feedback (those are the links in the post) and hopes to receive some in return (from you, the readers).

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This is a fascinating creation of a kind of new psychological legend. Instead of you being possessed by a demon, the demon plagues you from beneath your bed. 

I can sympathize, I had to sleep with my head under the covers out of fear to the monster until I was 10!

A night spent like that would surely have an ill effect on your psyche. And the mere remembrance of satan's creature there, it gives me chills to think about!

There’s something in the darkness of my room

it knows something I don’t

I’ve had monsters under the bed before but this..

this is something different, something real, something alive

Something crafted by the hands of satan meant to torture.

Satan trains the monster then monster trains me.

It trains me be frightened, scared, afraid,

Trains me like a Pavlov Dog

Everytime I think I’m fine…

It rings it’s bell again

&amp;#x200B;

&amp;#x200B;

(I'll probably make a cleaner and longer version of this poem later in the future if I feel up to it)

[https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/xbw4vt/untitled/io24akk/?context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/xbw4vt/untitled/io24akk/?context=3)

[https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/xbwftb/fridge\_note\_1/io24s4n/?context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/xbwftb/fridge_note_1/io24s4n/?context=3)

In the darkness of my room