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r/OCPoetry•
Inevitable_Jex

Another Iteration to this Endless loop

Poem

Breach for peace

Silence for the entrapped

An opened mouth searching for the words

Wingless as the plummet gave view to V patterns of birds-

They migrate to sustain while I can’t even move away without feeling the same.

I guess it’s all inner conflicts and silent convicts

Shadows and low blows

Troths of dreams, sluggish, trekking through muck of the unknown

I planned for truth and found honesty

I battled ruthlessly and gained modesty

Homeless as there’a no heart within me

I guess within the head woods I remained green

It’s never what it seems

I pressed besides the door as the explosives explode

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Posted Sep 12, 2022, 7:38 PM UTC

53
queenofshallots•

I've written a lot of poems and the thing that always gets me is rhyming. It's so difficult to convey a message the way it's intended while keeping a steady flow and thinking of words to rhyme with. But damn, you really nailed it here. The symbolism almost reads like some pre-modern civilization type piece, in which everything is rooted in nature and there is a simple pleasure in the struggles of surviving. The rhyming words don't seem forced, and flow naturally. I really don't have much critique here. Great work :)

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Inevitable_JexOP•

Wow these are words I rarely receive I’m so excited that you comprehend this piece in a way I sought to express it! Which is just naturally. Unforced. It’s just a trip, one to ponder over and over again and I think you see that clearly! I appreciate you and your thoughts!

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