Alright, that is actually pretty good. Some things I noticed when reading. 

Your flow of words is great first of. I like it, though I feel like there's a word missing when you write: "now I wipe my mouth after you kiss me." In my opinion, having an "**and** now I wipe my mouth..." Adds a better flow to the sentence.

And, in my opinion the usage of extended time at "I’m always watching." breaks the flow of words, having it "I always watch." sounds better, but that's just my opinion.

All in all, a great poem

\- AnnoyedPebble


Hello readers, welcome to OCpoetry. This subreddit is a writing workshop community -- a place where poets of all skill levels can share, enjoy, and talk about each other's poetry. Every person who's shared, including the OP above, has given some feedback (those are the links in the post) and hopes to receive some in return (from you, the readers).

If you really enjoyed this poem and just want to drop a quick comment, to show some appreciation or give kudos, things like "great job!" or "made me cry", or "loved it" or "so relateable", please do. Everyone loves a compliment. Thanks for taking the time to read and enjoy.

If you want to share your own poem, you'll need to give this writer some detailed feedback. Good feedback explains from your point of view what it was like to read the poem, and then tries to explain how the poem made you feel like that. If you're not sure what that means, check out our [feedback guide](https://new.reddit.com/r/ocpoetry/wiki/feedbackcritiques), or look 

I like the idea of this poem and what it means to fall out of love. How things you once loved about your partner are now things you hate. I think this poem could use a little bit more organization to really show the power of your emotions.

You nailed it. Now if husbands and wives would take a pause, and be true to themselves they would be able to tell He or she just ain't into you right now, any more or ever again. Then when he or she says I'm leaving, he or she falls apart.  Love it.

I really, really enjoyed this one; it was easy to visualize along with relatable subject matter that most could fit into the speaker's shoes. It was especially easy to visualize as the speaker is almost scanning down another person's face, with references to other features as well as sight and sound (smile, freckles, chin, sound, hearing, watching, chew, eyes, mouth). Love is blind and deaf, but falling out of love makes you notice the tiniest imperfections.

While I appreciate the repetition of "I hate X," another part wants to hear more about that feeling of hate. I can only offer one piece of advice/constructive criticism that one of my professors reminded everyone about often, even our best writers, and that is to show, not tell.

Overall, it's a great poem, and I wish your heart heals sooner rather than later.

I loved it. The repetition of hate isolates and keeps focus on the main theme that really isn't about hate at all. But that of frustration and differentiation. That's how it speaks to me.

I wake up and put on a fake smile 

you say “good morning”

with your fake grin I stare at 

the freckles on your chin that 

I used to love so much. 

I hate them now and I 

hate the sound of the video 

games you’re always playing. 

you hate hearing the 
laugh tracks from the shows 

I’m always watching. 

I hate the way you 

chew and you hate the way I 

cook. I used to look into your 

eyes and understand all the 

colors, now I wipe my mouth 

after you kiss me

[1](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/xhl270/an_emotional_affair/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;utm_name=iossmf)

[2](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/xiey8n/expel/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;utm_name=iossmf)