Source
r/OCPoetry•
cruelchampagne

A Wish on a Star

Poem

I see the stars
stumbling home, your face
fresh in my memory.
My mascara,
running down my face.

The stars are blurred.
I stumble on.
The loose glitter hastily
swiped onto my eyelids
falling away,
like the weekends do,
like every raindrop,
every beat of my heart,
and every shot of vodka that
sends my senses into a whirl,
and takes away the pain
for
just
long
enough.

Blacking out every weekend.
Existing only for Fridays,
dreading every Sunday,
where I lay in bed and
despise my existence and
hate myself for falling
for the people who treat me
the worst.

I wish on a star,
that someone would stare
into my eyes,
and tell me they love me,
and tell me all my broken hearts
were worth
it in the end.

​

1 2

Posted Sep 22, 2022, 5:11 PM UTC

615
Crossroadsfare•

I enjoy your writing so much, I’ve never worn makeup or dealt with some of the issues you describe in this piece. However you do such a good job of conveying your emotion I can actually feel the heartbreak. Well done, I normally scroll new for longer before settling on a piece to comment but your username is familiar. Keep up the great work, you’ve already got a fan!

3
cruelchampagneOP•

thank you so much!! that's so sweet, honestly it's been a really hard week & your comment brightened my day quite a bit, so thank you <3

2
Crossroadsfare•

You’re so welcome, it’s not much but I do what I can to be supportive of anyone who puts themselves out there. Strangers we might be, but in writing we are kin.

2
SerenSkies•

The first stanza makes me question whether this person has either just had a breakup, just left a party, or is upset about something after just crying. They see someone's face in their mind when looking up at the stars going home. Stars come out during the night. So, the time can be anywhere from 6 pm till 6 am presumably depending on geographical location and season. The stumbling reminds me of being drunk or tipsy as people under the influence are often associated with poor balance. A bias comes in when going home during night with mascara as the troupe as usually a woman being distraught about something such that happened at a party or lover's house.

The second stanza confirms some of the suspicions that alcohol was involved being vodka. The vision is blurring of the person who is abusing the alcohol as a small pain reliever. But the usage of weekends and fading makes me think that this is a regular occurrence. The pain isn't recent but moreso is a long and dragged out pain. It appears that days blur together because of this.

The third stanza gives a reason for the pain. The person had fallen in love with someone who treated them awfully but this person still can't stop seeing them in their mind. The pain still plagues them as they go out on presumably Fridays till Sunday to drink.

​

Stanza four gives the view that this past partner has damaged this person's sense of worth, trust, and value. They yearn for someone who loves them and really loves them.

​

Deep and touching poem. I hope this person finds true, real, and honest love one day. They are certainly worth it.

2
cruelchampagneOP•

Beautiful analysis, you're right on. Thank you so much!!

2
SerenSkies•

Keep writing. I can't wait for that time when self-love fully comes if you choose to write about it. You have a way with words.

2
cruelchampagneOP•

i appreciate that <3

1
SerenSkies•

np :)

I like to imagine the main character in this story going through something like this:

Beth Crowley- I Am Not Nothing

2
Haleyinthedarkk•

This was such an enjoyable read, I really love the third part the most when it says “Blacking out every weekend. Existing only for Fridays, dreading every Sunday.” I feel like the majority of society can heavily relate to this and you captured the essence of trying to find love in all the wrong places perfectly. More people need to read this for sure, keep up the great work!!

2
cruelchampagneOP•

Thank you so much!! I'm really glad you enjoyed it :)

1
Melz13•

Your style of writing is really phenomenal! I love the way you describe your thoughts, and that your work is easy to understand and get in touch with the meaning behind it!

From an outsider reading this piece I can feel the emotion that drives from beneath. I am able to visualize everything; which really helps paint a picture for me to follow throughout the journey of your poem!

I hope that you continue to post more content! 😌

Sometimes we have to go through some broken hearts to find that one, and in the end it will be worth it. :)

2
cruelchampagneOP•

Thank you so much for reading & commenting :D I appreciate that you took the time to do so. I'm glad you liked it!!

I really hope it will be worth it in the end. Thank you again for the kind words :)

2
Melz13•

No problem :)

Your work is refreshing to read and I really enjoy that!

2
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