my sister.

Poem

i love the way it smells

in my sister’s room:

like lotion and

flowers and

her.

​

she moved back in

a month ago.

she’ll start college

in a few weeks.

​

she left on a business trip

two days ago.

​

i miss her more

than a brother

has ever missed

a sister

​

--

​

i'm trying to

memorize

my sister.

​

the ways she smiles,

and laughs,

and watches netflix

at lunch.

​

she moved back in

two months ago.

she's moving out

next weekend.

​

i'll miss her more

than a brother

has ever missed

a sister.

​

the first half of this poem was written a month ago, the second half, last week. this poem is about my older sister, who i love very dearly.

1

2

Posted Sep 25, 2022, 8:15 PM UTC · edited

67
HamboneOnHorn•

Reminds me of my sister. Her room always smelled better than mine. A sisters love

2
AutoModeratorMOD•

Hello readers, welcome to OCpoetry. This subreddit is a writing workshop community -- a place where poets of all skill levels can share, enjoy, and talk about each other's poetry. Every person who's shared, including the OP above, has given some feedback (those are the links in the post) and hopes to receive some in return (from you, the readers).

If you really enjoyed this poem and just want to drop a quick comment, to show some appreciation or give kudos, things like "great job!" or "made me cry", or "loved it" or "so relateable", please do. Everyone loves a compliment. Thanks for taking the time to read and enjoy.

If you want to share your own poem, you'll need to give this writer some detailed feedback. Good feedback explains from your point of view what it was like to read the poem, and then tries to explain how the poem made you feel like that. If you're not sure what that means, check out our feedback guide, or look through the comment sections of any other post here, or click the links to the author's feedback above. If you're not sure whether your comments are feedback, or you have any other questions, please send us a modmail.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

Truly shweet. Totally abstract. Totally loubre the title.

Uhm pretty much no suggestions. Uhm v vagabond. Very like nuanced/First person interpretive?

It reminds me of that book, "the centre cannot hold". Elyn Saks.

Tres sweet!

​

Thanks for posting~~ Natural_Medicine_728

1
sbyder-manOP•

that's an interesting interpretation! how do you think it's vagabond? my sister does travel quite a bit but she has a steady income coming from work. also, how does my poem about missing my sister remind you of a book about the lifelong trauma of living with mental illness?

1

I dont know! I kind of got the sense that the 'sister might have mental health issues?

Uhm... just that the sister in this piece seems to be romanticized as like ill in some way? At least that is the sense I got from it?

Sorry I got the sense that this piece was written by a female writer?

Otherwise sorry for confusing gender! Best&best Natural_Medicine_728

1

Sorry read again, kind of skimmed the last part.

Uhm, kind of quaint. Not sure why I got that feel. Also read that as "my sister,"

instead of "my sister." sorry my vision hasn't been the best these days!

Guess that is why I skimmed the familial part with that ineptitude.

Uhm otherwise reads like Vldamir Nabokov... Maybe not the Center Cannot Hold....Intensely my bad I hope this reading is on point.

1
Mana_Maori•

my sisters room has always had a beautiful fragrance as well. Could totally relate!

1
maxsebasti•

Kinda weird bro

0
sbyder-manOP•

thank you

1