Diegesis: A Prose Poem
Diegesis
Anders Hackner arrived on the morning flight to Milan with a straw hat, a fresh dosage of chlordiazepoxide, and epileptic flashes of a twelve-month marriage. His companion was a small fennec fox he’d named for his late mother. He had to pay an exotic pet fee to the airline of one hundred and fifteen dollars. He was met by a crew member, Fedele, a swarthy man with bright white teeth and a minor limp. He’d been sent in a little yellow Fiat to claim the actor from Malpensa Airport. A misting of rain fell from the pearlescent sky, the thin cloud layer above him the fine, luminous gray of an Arabian colt. Anders’ six-foot-five frame, though befitting a leading man, struggled to fold itself into the banana-colored compartment. This predicament sent Fedele into a warm fit of Lombard burbles. With a smug grin, he ratcheted back the passenger seat as far as possible. Anders rode with his legs on the dashboard for two hours to the small town of Gromo. The AC was busted and he worried about the fox, shifting and vibrating beneath him. Gusts of mountain air from the open window rustled the flaxen straws of his silly hat.
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Posted Sep 27, 2022, 5:05 AM UTC
Incredible imagery my dude. "Epileptic flashes of a twelve months marriage" is genius. I love the dance between vivid description, feeling of the characters and feeling of the scene. In a short space you've created a colourful slice of life. In my head it's like something out of a Wes Anderson movie.
I do think that there's a slight lack of clarity with what's going on in the scene just because of such vivid description, but maybe that feeling of hurriedness is the point. If you were going for a chaotic absurdity in the medium as well as the content then it's bang on. You're a talented writer for sure.