ditto “little miss cigarette” made me smile

Little miss cigarette sounds like a song title. Kudos. I love quick lines that somehow burry themselves deep in your cerebellum immediately after being read. This is one of those I won’t forget. Keep it up.

I wrote everything but the last 2 lines & thought it was done, but then I realized it could be seen as scary rather than amusing - like what of the guy is an abuser? So I tacked those on to hint that maybe his problem with women is his problem with women!

I'm glad you dug it, thank you!

I think this is so cute! This isn’t as heavy as a lot of poetry out there right now. It’s punchy, fun, light hearted, and a little mysterious. The one little criticism I have is I don’t really know how the last line fits in. But I love it! I really have grown to like miss cigarette.

I will neither confirm nor deny that I received a copy of "You Get So Alone At Times It Just Makes Sense" in grade 10. I will say Buk's style is addicting and easy to fall into but a lot of his actual philosophies etc kinda pale for me as an older dude; I am much more into Rimbaud and Keats these days. But youth digs it's claws in for sure

I really enjoyed this. I like that you gave these few interesting details but left plenty of mystery too. I don't know if you aimed for this, but it had a bit of a Bukowski feel to it.

The concept of your poetry being told by an unreliable narrator in the context of this poem is a really unique and meta way to discuss poem above as potentially unreliable, maybe because of your relationship with lil miss cigarette. Or maybe its because you as the author know your own biases and don't trust your own narration, and want the reader to know.

I can relate to this one as a writer and I love the way it flows. 10/10.

I really like this one, not really taking itself too seriously, has a fun vibe to it while keeping a darker undertone

Very car seat headrest esque banging work

That is kinda exactly what I wanted to present, the narrator is pretty...well he's in the shallow end of things haha

Damn, this is a pretty short and sweet poem. I like the allegory of the bartender with the topic of relationships. It does bring about the concept of what are your romantic entanglements for you it questions the depth of the relationships conoaring it to a passing glance akin to bar flings. Which sets up an interesting perspective, well in my eyes anwyays.

Beautiful read. Wonderfully written. Thanks for sharing.

lol i’m so sorry I wasn’t trying to plant uncertainty! I just thought the softness of another played nicely into the rest of it, and plus as a one word type thing an alcoholic would say to a bartender, another seemed to capture the essence more, next had slight ambiguity, buttttt all that to say the only other harsh sounding words come from the former quote, “this one sounds like a real bitch” some maybe next is fitting? Sorry no doubt, I think it’s really good, just in case you were planning on printing a book or reading aloud or what have you it might be something to consider you magnificent oxman you!!!

I didn't think 'another' actually and that might have been better! but I was also thinking of the Brel song "Next!" which would have an allusion to the casualness of his affairs. But yeah, "Another" would scan better. Now I don't know so thanks for that uncertainty you've planted! ;) Thanks for reading sir or madame

love it, i was just anticipating instead of next the alcoholic would say to the bartender “another” and i like the softness of another compared to next, but i’m sure you’ve thought about it. otherwise i really like it. it played sequentially, like a movie in my head

Hahahhahah. Again, I am laughing. When are you putting it all together on print. I will buy it. I will put it in my bathroom. And on my nightstand. And next to my morning coffee. And I will pick it up. And read about your adventures. And I will laugh. And I will have better days. Like today. Thank you. 🥰


Hello readers, welcome to OCpoetry. This subreddit is a writing workshop community -- a place where poets of all skill levels can share, enjoy, and talk about each other's poetry. Every person who's shared, including the OP above, has given some feedback (those are the links in the post) and hopes to receive some in return (from you, the readers).

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I love this. I can’t explain why, but it feels like a Raymond Carver story reduced to a few tight lines. Looking forward to reading more of your work!

Little miss cigarette sounds to me like a Murakami character. But I also shared poems with a girl once, twice or some more. Any of them were like her, wish people would smoke more to inspire me sometimes, women now, who read my poems if they truly understand and smoke while they read. Good job!

She read my poems

"This one sounds like a real bitch", she said.

Cigarette dangling from her mouth

Cross legged on my bed

And I, the author, in the doorway 




Maybe the girl in question was. 

She certainly had her passions.

But, she also had her charms.




As for little miss cigarette, well...

I think now she understands the concept of

"unreliable narrator".

(Don't judge her invasion of privacy too harshly.

She, also, had her charms.)


As the alcoholic said to the bartender,

"Next."


https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/xqubaq/depression_not_seasonal/iqbhgrf

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/xq1it2/honey_tree/iqbid82

She Read My Poems