academic struggle with a GenZ PIMO

Growing up, I struggled with high levels of dopamine and was constantly stimulated; which often affected me academically. I couldn't keep a schedule or a routine by myself even if I tried hard enough. My parents nor adults nearby didn't help me with this problem, dismissing me with "just pray it to Jehovah" & it's frustrating as all hell. To add, my family is in financial turmoil so I have to do good at school. At meetings and Bible studies, I would often be told I don't have to seek higher education to please God or some shit. At the same time, I needed to please my parents so I can be deemed a good child. Even when I sought the help of the YPA books, there wasn't a definite answer I could adhere to.

This double standard confused me to depression & anxiety all throughout my childhood to teen years as I struggled between my passion in art, my beliefs, genuine interest in learning and family. Friends around my age serving the congregation would "encourage" me to join them on preaching or bible study on times I can't, saying things like "It's okayyyy your homework won't run away from your desk, but your time to preach the good news will!" and "You're a girl, so you should be able to get it right after!" (CONTEXT: in my part of the world, women are perceived more responsible than men in school but we still don't get the same salary as men in the workforce lol)

I find it just....outright dismissive of personal boundaries. Who are you to force me to change priorities?? Later on, this inspiring notion of "choosing Jehovah" over your own stability in life has convinced me the gb wants us to stay dumb for their own gain.