r/OCPoetry•
[deleted]

Cap Anson

NSFWPoem

[removed]

Posted Oct 4, 2022, 8:21 PM UTC · edited

99
jackieneutron•

I wish all history was taught this way. Really easy to read and digest which is nothing but a credit to the writing, from the choice of words and phrasing to the arrangement.

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[deleted]•

wow!! That is ...a really high compliment, thank you so much.

History is better with f-words, not much isn't

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mfrench105•

Not that it isn't deserved, but your hate probably made his day in Hell.

I like the letter style here.... but I see a couple of options for you to explore. Maybe send this directly to him, face to face as it were. You start out talking to the reader then finally to Cap...take the third person out. Maybe tell Cap just how far things have come..laugh in his face...

I appreciate the history and love the game...I see you do too.

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[deleted]•

I do love the game and I thought to throw my hat in the great American tradition of the baseball poem.

I like your ideas for extrapolation! That would be ahhh very cathartic.

1
mfrench105•

Baseball is ninety percent mental.

The other half is physical

Yogi Berra

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[deleted]•

There was a man of words!

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ecstatic_cahoots•

Ooooh! This is SO good! I like my fellow redditor's suggestion of directing it TO Cap but I also thing you can basically keep it as is with a few small aesthetic formal changes to drive it all home.

Formalize your line breaks, keep it uniform. You feel like you're adding drama or emphasis but it's distracting to the eye. Utilize punctuation to dictate your rhythm and and only manipulate space and breaks when necessary.

Killer poem, though. Invigorating, inspiring. Thoughtful. Necessary.

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wideopenflame•

Hmmm. Never heard of Cap Anson. Thank you for the history lesson. Very interesting.

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