This may be a critique-proof poem. In my opinion, there is very little here worth trying to improve. It knows what it's trying to do, it has its sights set on telling a little what-if about a Greek myth, and it just goes and does it. Perfectly paced. Vivid imagery. Fresh, vibrant metaphor ("wind's embrace"!!), and doesn't overstay its welcome. It gets in, does its thing, and leaves. Nice work. 10 out of 10. Would fly on wax wings again.

I like this. Icarus spent a lot of energy trying to obtain the unobtainable. Makes you wonder if the climb was worth the fall.

I think it's a real skill to be able to write poetry that doesn't follow a repetitive structure or rhyming scheme, and yet still feels like poetry. And yet that seems to be what a TON of quality poetry seems to do. As a kid, I always was taught that poetry rhymes, which is sometimes true, but I believe misses the point of poetry. I think poetry is the combination of the ideas in the piece as well as the beauty of the writing itself.

So good job, this poem accomplishes both sides of that combination.


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I would've liked this poem to be a little longer. There's nothing wrong with it but I feel like there isn't much going on in the poem. Nonetheless, i think you executed your idea well and the poem doesn't really have any lines that feel off but again I feel like this 'did he regret it' bit is a little overdone throughout literature. 
P.s- there's a song by Hozier called sunlight, where he talks about Icarus and has beautiful imagery. Check it out if you want :)

Great execution of a poem. I really enjoyed the inclusion of the four classical elements, ground, wind, water and fire (sun). It was done subtly to only occur to me on the second read through.The title and opening line set up the poem well and each line is well constructed, each leading to the next, staying close the central premise. Overall, there a great level of concreteness, pondering internally, and literary reference. 

In terms of critic: it only reiterates the story of Icarus and gives no original thought. The pondering of the speaker is, to me, the central premise of the story of Icarus, so isn't a new take. I would love to see this expanded or taking on a more fresh take/ originality to the poems central message/ theme.

Also you spelt Icarus without a capital **I** in the title, which is really annoying me. Was that on purpose?

I like your poem, but what I like the most is how you express that you think it was worth it: the words "wrapped" and "embrace", and the spread arms image (like a hug), make the fall seem almost cozy, not as bad. Its subtle, but that's how it makes me feel.   
I think you could elevate this poem even more by using formatting. Since it's a fall, leaving the setup for the poem at the top and the conclusion verses at the bottom could potentialize the impact for the reader.    
Thanks for sharing and congratulations on your writing!

I wonder, in that heartbeat, 

between Icarus and the ground,

while he fell wrapped in the wind's embrace,

when he spread his arms wide to meet the water,

did he regret not having stayed close to the ocean?

Or did he rejoice at having tasted the sun?

&amp;#x200B;

10-9-22

&amp;#x200B;

[1](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/xzv376/the_alchemist/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=web2x&amp;context=3) [2](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/xzt8dr/lucy/)

icarus