this is so beautiful. it’s relays the feeling of missing someone so well. poems that relate feelings of sorrow and loss to nature get me in my feels—they’re probably the most gorgeous poems in my opinion and you totally hit the nail on the head with this one.

i especially love how the first line ties in with the last few. its such a subtle detail that really brought the piece together. its just so lovely!! thank you for sharing!!!

I found myself reading this piece over and over, always in a soft tone which i loved. The only feedback I got for this would be the title. I think this piece needs a title that does it justice. The first line really hooked me and from then on the lines just fit perfectly. I'd say look over the last three lines though. They felt a bit off when read out loud and even in my head. I say change them to sound more in sync with the tone of the piece, but keep what you said in them. All in all, great work. Thanks for sharing.

Interpret this however you like my friend

Is this the growing of someone into adulthood, missing the memories of young? Or is this just a wonder of nature? 

&#x200B;

Either way (or if I am wrong) I love this. 10/10.

I really like this poem. Your imagery paints a slice of life that I can imagine in my head. The last two lines are super impactful for me.

Also, the perfectly shortening lines of this are both visually and artistically pleasing :)

I would drop the second line or at least write it differently. “…worth the pain” is a little bit paint-by-numbers cliche. It’s vague, so it does it’s job but doesn’t shoulder much weight in the poem. 

Additionally the title could use some review. It’s a tad juvenile compared to the content of the poem

I’ve been writing song lyrics on and off for a few years. Only really started getting into poetry specifically over the past couple months.

Thats so interesting! How long have you been writing for?

Thank you! Sometimes I’ll have maybe 2-3 drafts. A draft for me would be the entire structure of the poem and how I approach an idea. Sometimes my approach just doesn’t work out so I start over. This poem happened to work out on my first draft but no matter how many drafts I have each line has many revisions.

Very elegant writing, I would love to know how many drafts you did (if any)? Or what your writing process looks like?

This is awesome, we all have people who've simply "grown out" our lives and while we may miss them it's always a nostalgic and bittersweet feeling. I'm also glad you managed to (at least from what I feel)  incorporate both the bitter (2nd line) and the sweet part of this feeling (last line). The poem has a punch despite it being short.

Wow. I too had to read this multiple times. Such an interesting perspective, almost reminds me of a child missing their mother. Details are just subtle enough to picture it all!

Dang you’re so right. The power of less

I think this opens really strongly, but I think it would be better overall if it ended with "a part of them", because beginning with the word forever, you start to stray from that strong, tense image and start an explanation I don't think is needed. I don't think a direct call to attention that the narrator is making a point is needed. I also think that "I wonder if they love the sky/ the roots that grew them/ a part of them" is a really, really powerful bit


Hello readers, welcome to OCpoetry. This subreddit is a writing workshop community -- a place where poets of all skill levels can share, enjoy, and talk about each other's poetry. Every person who's shared, including the OP above, has given some feedback (those are the links in the post) and hopes to receive some in return (from you, the readers).

If you really enjoyed this poem and just want to drop a quick comment, to show some appreciation or give kudos, things like "great job!" or "made me cry", or "loved it" or "so relateable", please do. Everyone loves a compliment. Thanks for taking the time to read and enjoy.

If you want to share your own poem, you'll need to give this writer some detailed feedback. Good feedback explains from your point of view what it was like to read the poem, and then tries to explain how the poem made you feel like that. If you're not sure what that means, check out our [feedback guide](https://new.reddit.com/r/ocpoetry/wiki/feedbackcritiques), or look 

I wonder if the leaves miss the soil

If gazing down is worth the pain

I wonder if they love the sky

The roots that grew them

A part of them forever

I miss you every day

And I'm glad I do

&amp;#x200B;

[https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/y1vkm5/comment/irzn31v/?utm\_source=share&amp;utm\_medium=web2x&amp;context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/y1vkm5/comment/irzn31v/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=web2x&amp;context=3)

[https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/y1srpr/comment/irzm05c/?utm\_source=share&amp;utm\_medium=web2x&amp;context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/y1srpr/comment/irzm05c/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=web2x&amp;context=3)

Ouch :.)