Oh man. The way to set up the ending made it hit that much harder. It was really good.

I really hope this is just a little story and not about something real. If it is, I’m so, so sorry you’re going through that. I wish there was more I could do to help you out


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ouch this is very effective and personal. Really well and simply expressed. The last 3 lines in particular are very strong - they give a sense of slowing down, moving from desperation to self reflection. 

"maybe i’m making it out to be more futile than it really was" - this is the only line that very much didnt work for me. the length was jarring and it's overly wordy compared to how the rest of the poem flows. I'd shorten it to simply "perhaps it wasnt that futile" or something similar - same idea, less clunky

This poem beautifully illustrates the illusive nature of security and how the only safe place is within our hearts. We are rock climbers tethered to each other for safety, or we climb alone risking a great fall.

I particularly like your graphic description of the hospital. 

You can drop the "and"s from the beginnings of lines. The reader knows they are there.

what else should we have done?

&amp;#x200B;

your pills were already locked in your mother’s medicine cabinet

i’d taken your sewing scissors and put them on a shelf you couldn’t reach

at least without a stool, which,

if you grabbed,

gave me enough time to grab you

&amp;#x200B;

should we have pursued an emergency detention?

did you belong all along in an environment sterile, white

and smelling of disinfectant

with no houseplants in your window

nor cats for company?

&amp;#x200B;

i’m sure burning incense would be forbidden

and lighting candles, too

and you are too picky an eater for hospital food.

&amp;#x200B;

perhaps we should have taken your car keys

installed a door alarm

drained the pond

&amp;#x200B;

kept you alive, in essence,

by wringing all the life from your existence.

&amp;#x200B;

maybe it wasn't that futile 

maybe it was simple

maybe we just needed to love you

more

than we did.

&amp;#x200B;

[1](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/y0d817/comment/irs5h3a/?utm_source=reddit&amp;utm_medium=web2x&amp;context=3), [2](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/y2b0df/comment/is2gsp8/?utm_source=reddit&amp;utm_medium=web2x&amp;context=3).

what else?