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To jump into feedback, one of the things I like about this poem is the interplay between the narrator and the person of their affection. The second and third lines of advice really show that the narrator cares about that person; you only give solid advice to those you love. Then the transitioning to adoration of the person’s outward trates, then to how the narrator views their relationship is an easy flow to follow; one premise leads to another naturally. All of this leads back to the narrator’s adoration, which seems to be the foundational idea of the poem. Well done in communicating that. 

The line “How I love you” threw me off, though. Saying “I love you” in my culture (I’m from California) is a weighty declaration, which turns the narrator’s focus from their person to themselves. I feel if you dropped “you”, it would read better (“How I love // Making you shine”). This would help transition the poem from general admiration of the person to the interaction between the narrator and 

In a world void

Of connection 

Come as yourself

Presence is key


Your grand grimace 

A smirk that shoots 

How I love you

Making you shine


Dance in the wind 

I blow, you flow

We show the world

How we can live

To dialogue


Nothing from you

Nothing from me

Everything me

Everything you

We are one now


We go dancing

Until the end

It always ends

But you promised

To come again





[https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/t3yue9/comment/hyveaoi/?utm\_source=share&amp;utm\_medium=web2x&amp;context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/t3yue9/comment/hyveaoi/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=web2x&amp;context=3)

[https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/t3j46m/comment/hyvfqkk/?utm\_source=share&amp;utm\_medium=web2x&amp;context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/t3j46m/comment/hyvfqkk/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=web2x&amp;context=3)

It means a lot