She’s Gone

Sometimes it still kills me that you’re not around

Everyone’s laughing and I can’t make a sound

I can’t let go knowing I let you down

Can’t force a smile when I see your frown

Close my eyes, your tears still roll silently

And I still hate myself for it, so violently

 

The purest connection, never lost my respect

I tore you to pieces, it’ll take me years to reflect

You’re worth the time, never been a question

And if you’re truly gone, you’re my biggest lesson

My dearest friend, I must’ve lost my mind

My sweetest end, you taught me to be kind

 

Apologized so many times, but I don’t remember ever thanking you

All those sleepless nights you made sure that I made it through

All the plans you made, I was always included

Always had my back, even when I was acting stupid

From funerals to festivals, you were always there

When I used to over drink, you’d hold back my hair

 

Grew up together, but we didn’t grow up quite the same

But we understood each other, I never used to feel the shame

In a lot of ways, you took tender care of me when I was at my lowest

I thank you for seeing something there in me when I didn’t know it

“Hopeless Romantic” focused on all of the wrong things

My partner told me not to lose faith in all time brings

 

My world used to feel so cloudy, thunder echoed through my every thought

I couldn’t control the things about me, I sacrificed my soul far from any cross

But it’s been years now, my grandmother cries for different reasons

For her I made a vow, yet I used to compare you and I to seasons

 

I can’t afford self pity, but I paid the devil everything I used to have

I’d spend eternity in the city, waiting everyday on Bushwick Ave

Because there’s no one to replace you, I stopped trying long ago

So just in case you ever see this, I really want to let you know

 

 

You’re the best friend I think I’ll ever have

And I’m so grateful for every moment

We walked together down the same path

I’m always gonna leave that door open

I’m always gonna feel my heart hoping

There’s some words left unspoken

There’s some chance of atonement

And every circumstance isn’t broken

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