The original quote was “I loved you as Icarus loved the sun. Too much. Too close.” thanks for the feedback man means a lot

i can feel the pain in this poem, specially because of the ending. i pass with a smile, for i am the man who touched the stars. that was really touching. almost left me in tears. i recently went through a devastating break up and I’m writing too, didn’t plan on it. it’s just happening organically. hit me up when you drop your next poem. also what quote was it?


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Oops yeah thats a typo thanks for the catch

Hello! I very much enjoyed this poem. I love the story of Icarus, it has a lot of sentimental value to me personally, so this poem made me beam with pleasure. 

One nit pickey thing I would say is punctuation. When you said, “Too Close” did you mean to capitalize the C? If it was a personal choice, cool! I just wanted to see if that was a typo or not. 

Otherwise, I adored this poem!

 

I loved you as Icarus loved the sun

Too much, 

Too Close.

Even scorched and falling I can find no loathing for you,

Your brilliance is no fault of your own.

Still I grieve as my body hits the waves

Just as day turns to night all suns must set.

Yet in the end I pass with a smile,

For I am the man who touched the stars.

&amp;#x200B;

Recently went through a breakup and have been writing to cope, this came from one of my favorite quotes and left me feeling emotional but at peace with reality. Let me know what you think/how to improve I am pretty new to this.

[https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/y9vm9b/comment/it7pa18/?utm\_source=share&amp;utm\_medium=web2x&amp;context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/y9vm9b/comment/it7pa18/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=web2x&amp;context=3)

[https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/y9vhgg/comment/it7px3f/?utm\_source=share&amp;utm\_medium=web2x&amp;context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/y9vhgg/comment/it7px3f/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=web2x&amp;context=3)

Icarus and the Sun