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This poem does a good job at involving multiple senses for me; the imagery really helps to immerse me into the poem, as if I'm really there. Also, this poem gives a really strong sense of grief, if that's what you're going for, especially with the last line almost "crashing down" at me, making this poem a lot heavier in a way? However, I feel like the spacing of the poem makes it feel weaker, so maybe grouping certain lines together into stanzas could help make it even more effective. I hope this helps a bit

once again, i came looking for you to this window

but the clouds said you won’t be here today

so i tried to imagine what your eyes are looking at right now

what does your hair smell like in this rainy day today 

what would have been like if we were still in love

making the shopping list in the kitchen together

planning what set of dining table and chairs to get 

but I’m just looking at the clouds, and you won’t ever be here again 

Lorie. 










https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/yatxno/dead_flowers_on_the_dining_room_table/itdgsqu/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;utm_name=iossmf&amp;context=3


https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/y9whw8/icarus_and_the_sun/itdhxia/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;utm_name=iossmf&amp;context=3

yesterday’s sunsets with u