hello! 
i am confused.
“yellow is the color of you” cool! not a bad first line. now, let me keep reading and see why yellow is the color of you.
“sweet as honey” oh no!! a cliché! maybe that’s the purpose? 
“soft as dreams” hm… you could do with more evocative language but alr… also, that has nothing to do with the color yellow… okay i guess we’re done with the yellow concept. 
“your curves lead to Rome” what!!! what does that mean? I am afraid of the beloved’s curves.

“you weren’t built in a day” at this point i don’t think there is a beloved. maybe that’s the trick of the poem. you are talking about an object. something built. a person can't be built.
“you’re my Mecca” now for a second after reading this i thought this was a genius Islamic poem addressing Mecca. Mecca has been the beloved all along. but that makes no sense! Mecca isn’t yellow, has nothing to do with Rome, etc, etc, etc. and if you're talking about the Kaaba, it has no curves. :(
so i guess there’s still a beloved he


Hello readers, welcome to OCpoetry. This subreddit is a writing workshop community -- a place where poets of all skill levels can share, enjoy, and talk about each other's poetry. Every person who's shared, including the OP above, has given some feedback (those are the links in the post) and hopes to receive some in return (from you, the readers).

If you really enjoyed this poem and just want to drop a quick comment, to show some appreciation or give kudos, things like "great job!" or "made me cry", or "loved it" or "so relateable", please do. Everyone loves a compliment. Thanks for taking the time to read and enjoy.

If you want to share your own poem, you'll need to give this writer some detailed feedback. Good feedback explains from your point of view what it was like to read the poem, and then tries to explain how the poem made you feel like that. If you're not sure what that means, check out our [feedback guide](https://new.reddit.com/r/ocpoetry/wiki/feedbackcritiques), or look 

You have some interesting ideas here in this poem, but I would recommend focusing in on a single theme and sticking to it. Such as why yellow is the color of this person? Additionally, when writing about something common such as love or loss, I think its good to add a unique twist or perspective so that the poem doesn’t get lost in the shuffle. Keep up the good work, hope this helps. (:

   


Poem #2

Yellow is the color of you

Sweet as honey 

Soft as dreams

delicate like porcelain 

Your curves lead to Rome

You weren’t built in a day 

You’re my Mecca

My prayers are overdue

[1](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/ybgl9t/depths_of_love/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=web2x&amp;context=3)

&amp;#x200B;

[2](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/ybkcaz/comment/itjoz0n/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=web2x&amp;context=3)

Poem #2[work in progress]