This is a moving piece. Thanks for sharing. I can tell you that God did hear you and that you are loved. Tomorrow when I wake up I am going to greet the sun too... "thanks for shining through to me, for all those who can not yet see, the power of one that we all be."

have a great day

I'm sorry for your loss. Thank you for your kind words.

This immediately took me back to losing a friend and made me smile at those last two lines. Beautiful

So good man. Some specific areas of praise:

“Last night on the freeway/ i drove towards my grave” such a strong starting hook. I like the imagery of a freeway because how quickly you reach your destination with it. The fact that you’re driving to your grave on a freeway really conveys urgency in your poem which urges me to read on. 

“The freeway was painted by the light of the moon/the same light i saw when god took you soon” Again the use of the freeway as a vehicle in this poem for your pain/grief is amazing. It shows how grief doesn’t leave and it paints your future experiences with it, even inbribing something of a holy quality to them. In personally dealing with my grief i also feel a light with me even though the pain of her death always lingers.

“Please don’t stop shining when your day is done” so fuckin tender man. I love the ending.

Just all around so relatable and touching.

Keep writing as an outlet for what you’re feeling, even if sad; but note that sadness often leads to unbearable depression. Cling to those that love and support you, including, and most importantly, God, he doesn’t make mistakes! Let your light shine!


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Last night on the freeway 

I drove towards my grave

and I said to God 

"I don't want to be saved"

He didn't hear me 

or he didn't care 

If everyone dies

why is death so unfair? 

The freeway was painted 

by the light of the moon

The same light I saw when 

God took you too soon. 

Tomorrow I'll wake up 

and I'll greet the sun 

"Please don't stop shining

when your day is done." 


https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/yc0b17/a_devils_lament/itm6f0c?utm_medium=android_app&amp;utm_source=share&amp;context=3

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/ybh4cw/sad_girl_summer/itm76jw?utm_medium=android_app&amp;utm_source=share&amp;context=3

Grieving