[2495] Pretty Monsters

Hello! Sorry posted it yesterday but took down because I wanted to make a couple of edits.

Trying to see if the first chapter of WIP would work as a short story! I'd appreciate any and all feedback -- including:

(1) Is the MC too angsty? >!She's unlikeable but I'm hoping that readers can see her side of the story too some extent.!<

(2) Is there too many characters introduced?

(3) Would this work as a short story in your opinion?

(4) Any other thoughts!

LINK:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1vrLFTw-5eWyF_yhRxskAXYRmfyly9YHe9_KbQH7lOps/edit?usp=sharing

CRITIQUE:

https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/w0rnuf/3345_scifi_giant_mecha_battles/igji4ng/?context=3