[1113] Object Permanence

This is a short story I’ve had floating around for a while. I think I’ve now exhausted my ability to see it clearly. It might not be a style suited to everyone since it is predominantly language-driven.

Object Permanence

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I have some questions, which are just things I can’t answer myself. Feel free not to address them if there’s something else that sticks out.

• I’d be interested to know if the stylistic elements work in terms of tone and dislocated language, long sentences etc.
• I’d also like to know if there are moments that are laborious and hindering.
• I’d love some punctuation expertise, as I probably struggle to tell the difference between being creative with rhythm and just plain wrong.
• I’d love to know if it actually has the depth and intrigue that I’ve tried to push through it.
• Last one. Big one. Does the overall focus on language mask some fundamental lack elsewhere? Or are we cool?

I’m in the uncomfortable position that I believe it’s quite good and has something about it. But all the same just kill me please and thanks for reading.

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