“Jewish impostor syndrome”

“Jewish impostor syndrome”

Throwaway account for obvious reasons.

I am a 30 year old Jewish male from Europe. My mother was Jewish, and my father is an atheist. My maternal grandparents were quite religious, but my mom was not. My mom passed away when I was 7, and she was quite secular, so I did not grow up in the Jewish faith, except for the occasional shabbat or Pessah dinner when visiting my maternal grandparents.

In the past few years, I have noticed an increased interest in getting closer to my Jewish roots. It seems clear to me it’s also a way for me to feel closer to my beloved deceased mom. For instance, I have started referring to myself as Jewish, being proud of it, coincidentally having more and more (secular) Jewish friends, talking about Judaism and aspects of Jewish culture, observing Jewish holidays (Kippour, Pessah, Hannukah), and even going to Israel.

However, I sometimes feel some kind of impostor syndrome. I don’t look like most Jewish people in my country (I have blue eyes and brown straight hair), until recently I also used my father’s non-Jewish last name, and I am also uncut (I have never met an uncut Jewish guy like me). So even though it is quite rare, I sometimes feel a “Jewish impostor syndrome”, where I don’t feel Jewish enough… I have been imagining that people think I am a delusional Jewish wannabe.

To be clear, no one ever told me I was not Jewish (except for this horrible guy I briefly dated who said that to hurt me a few years ago), but this is how I feel.

I was wondering if anyone else felt the same way and would be willing to share about their experience.

Peace 🥰☮️