Habit

When they said love was a drug,
I pictured the euphoria you gave me
The sensation of your touch,
Mystically calming and electrifying.
The buzz of your embrace,
The promise of release
From this lonely existence.

I couldn’t fathom the emptiness
Which engulfed me
When I became dependent on you
And your love went dry.
The chemical pain when
You made me whole and then
Ripped me apart.

When you look me in the eyes,
After all this time,
I experience the same
Guilty excitement as when I
See the red flash of your vape
And all I want to do is bum a hit.

Was I always a junkie
Who’s burnt his plugs
Desperate for a high wherever it comes?
Or did I pick the habit up
When you shared your high with me
And left me cold on the comedown?

1

2

I know this is kinda emo and personal and I’m new to poetry be gentle <3