Is this normal behaviour after an abusive relationship?
I'm asking this because I'm sick and tired of everyone in my life telling me that 2 years on I'm just "not over him yet" and im just "not healed" or depressed or whatever. 2 years on from this relationship and I still can't think about certain things without crying, 2 years on and I still get constant panic attacks whenever I go to his home country because I'm scared I'll see him in the street, 2 years on and I feel completely detached from the person I was before. I know I'm not healed but I'm seriously considering the fact I could have PTSD of some form at this point, I don't want to acknowledge the fact that I was weak and obsessive and let him do things to me that could have caused this but obviously it has caused something because to my knowledge this is not a normal healing process. Ive done some really destructive things to myself and others because of the pain I still hold 2 years later, ive lost contact, got into contact and lost it again multiple times with him and still feel like I love him throughout all the cheating and lying. I sobbed when his mum died even though I never met her, if it was between me and him I would die for him after everything he put me through. I know that it's a trauma bond and everything but I don't think the panic attacks and depression and just the way I've changed as a person since the relationship is normal anymore. I'm tired of my issues being minimised and being judged for still crying over him. I just want someone to be straight with me and tell me if I'm still just healing or if it's a possibility I could have permanent mental scars from this.
Posted Dec 6, 2022, 5:39 PM UTC
You cry because you go to an entire country. The likelihood of seeing him on the street just because you’re in that country is next to zero. That is most likely PTSD. I still get nervous every time I see a blue Silverado and it’s been like seven or eight years.
You don’t get over abuse. It doesn’t go away. You can learn to be okay with it though. You really need to get into therapy because with the right counselor you can heal. The crying can stop. The panic attacks can stop. This isn’t permanent.
You just changed my life thank you so much. As soon as I read your comment I cried with joy because I realised how strong I've been all along, not weak. I just sat here hugging myself and telling myself I'm sorry for all the nights I spent hating myself and holding back tears convincing myself I was being sensitive and overly emotional and I should just man up and get over it which only made it so much worse. The damage I've done to my self worth is going to take a long time to rebuild but I finally feel worthy to rebuild it and give myself the respect I deserve, thank you ❤️❤️