The Cerebral Cell

“Jailed again? For what?! I know my rights!”

You failed again, forgot? In here you have no rights

“I didn’t do it, I’m innocent, I wouldn’t hurt a fly!”

Doesn’t matter, you can’t leave, in here you’ll live and die...

The cell walls shift, drip fluids. The bone bars, sturdy and rigid. The jailer himself is faceless and formless... a cranial echo.

“How long has it been? How many more years must you take?”

How long has it been? How many more years must you take?

“What?! I-“

What?! I-

The cell walls shift, drip fluids. The bone bars, sturdy and rigid. The jailer himself screams in agony.

“all alone... all alone”

all alone... all alone

“Don’t say that!”

Don’t say that!

The cell walls shift, drip fluids. The bone bars, sturdy and rigid. The jailer sees his self in his self-made cell.

“We’re in here for life, me and you, or you and me, just us two.

We’re in here for life, let’s get along... Wait are we two, or are we one?

I hear you speak, and only I, I hear you speak, I hear you lie

Convicted of: imagined crimes

Convicted by: an addled mind

I, the jailer, beg and plead

From myself... I must be freed.”

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I could do with some advice on how to compose a poem with two speakers, I just did it in the manner that felt most intuitive, but maybe there’s a way to make it work better.

It also feels a bit too flat and lifeless. It tells a story, but I don’t think it’s very emotionally provocative. It features a person battling mental illness and their own internal monologue, so maybe the apathetic and monotonous style could work, but as it is now it feels like it’s lacking in emotion.

Feedback and tips are really appreciated ;)