[2286] Lords and Loadingscreens excerpt

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1C0hAUIRdaBYij8-9bhRoW6uNWSQKG5R50iuEaIwr2q0/edit?usp=sharing

Another excerpt from a novel I'm working on. Please let me know your general thoughts. I would especially like thoughts on prose. Thank you for your time.

Critique: https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/zlirhl/4007_blood_summer_chapter_one_v2_urban_fantasy/j0826ys/