Beginning or End
Got too heavy
by his oneself
Got too heavy
that stopped making sense
Got too heavy
a sound can't escape
Got too heavy
consume in himself
Got too heavy
goes without a bang
Gazing on life communicating life
reflection of fusion
growth of enjoyer
shine of jovial
flow of life
entity to entity
Wandering with the hunger of a wolf
in a void or in a crowd
Steady around lightings
Lighting won't run when come round
Taking it all down to the core
From where it all began
i wrote reading about blackhole
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Posted Dec 31, 2022, 12:54 PM UTC
Pretty complex poem. I honestly didn't like the first half. Maybe it sounded too objective and too "scientific". Personally I prefer using scientific terms to describe something non scientific. You seem to have done the opposite, but that's a personal preference. I think It's well made, especially the part where you compare it to a wolf, kind of a personification I think. That's a beautiful way of seeing black holes. It also feels like it has a circular structure because the last verse is connected to the title. Good job! keep writing.
thank you so much for make this comment and you liked something about this, i was pouring out free hand while i read about blackhole. this is first one i have written and got interested in poetry read and wrote few more