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5boros
u/5boros
140
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1907
There we were, enjoying a nice night out bar hopping, and as we're going down a sidewalk that was at least 8 feet wide a morbidly obese person dressed in all black appeared out of nowhere. I don't know if it was because they were wearing all black, or that they were at least 7 & 3/4 feet wide. But we didn't see them, and were unable to go around them due to their gravitational field. They really weren't 7 + feet wide, more like 3/4 of a Forrester wide, but the armpit chub made their arms fat spread out at 90 degrees out horizontally, almost level with the ground.
Anyway, the person was so huge the impact created a bounce that knocked both of us from the scooter approximately 2 Imprezas
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I just spent all morning pretending this wasn't a major city, but it's becoming so tough to do these days. When I moved here a couple of weeks ago, there was literally no trash outside, ever. Nothing but me, the tall gras and my covered Subaru wagon. Now I'm lucky to find a single prairie dog to BBQ. I mean it's super obvious there are over 738,594 of us here now but I long for simpler times.
The only upside to this harsh reality is that I can never do anything nice without proclaiming it publicly, as loud, and angrily as possible. Now there are plenty of people for me to tell all about how hard it was to do something nice, and how much I hate doing nice things so that helps take some of th
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So anyway I have a 10 hour layover here, but traveling to a hotel literally 10 minutes away means I won't get enough beauty sleep, or be able to finish browsing the customary Subaru catalog placed around my neck by a beautiful unemployed Casa Bonita cliff diver (meth head) upon exiting the plane.
Getting any additional shut eye needed later on my international flight just hasn't occurred to me yet, and worse yet I've mistakenly just showered before boarding my last flight, making me very uncomfortable during my previous 3 hour flight, and still way too fresh for a longer international flight.
With that said, we all know beauty obviously supersedes common courtesy. So I was looking for the
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