AdamnedSoul

This happened when I was still pretty new to the Christian faith, before I was baptised. Back then I was in a relationship with my ex-girlfriend (an Anglican). Her late grandaunt (a Catholic) passed away and she brought me to attend her funeral Mass.

So basically she, an Anglican/protestant, received the Eucharist. She told me that I shouldn’t receive the Eucharist unless “I have let Jesus in my heart”. I told her I did, and she was like “oh okay, then you can have it”. And so I received the Eucharist, not knowing that it’s actually the real body and blood of Jesus Christ.

We eventually broke up, and I eventually got baptised in an evangelical/non-denominational church, and am now about to

Hi everyone, I hope this is the correct place to ask this.

A bit of context and background: I’m a Malaysian who was born to a Muslim mother and a Christian (Catholic) father. As per Malaysia’s laws, he had to convert to Islam to marry, and as a result, I was assigned Islam at birth. Because of this, it is practically impossible for me to leave Islam in this country. My family had since passed away, and my mother lives in the assumption/delusion that my siblings and I are still Muslims, thereby forcing us to adhere to Islamic practices against our will. I personally have left Islam around eight years ago, and became a Christian in faith three years ago, around the time when my father became

For context: https://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/s/KNDFEtSdaD

I decdided to end my life by taking 30 tablets of Lamitor at once. Huge fucking mistake lmao. I had the worst seizure attack ever, all while being in complete awareness of my body’s movements. I felt like vomiting. I screamed and yelled so loudly that it woke our neighbours. My mum called the ambulance. They somehow managed to keep me alive, but I was either being in a coma or being put to sleep for a whole week until I regained consciousness. There were some kinda tubes in my throat which were now have been taken out already. But my ears are still bleeding every now and then, and I feel like I can’t walk for even just a few st

She never liked me, and she never will. I never had a chance with her, and I never will. That brief spark was only a fluke, it was only her being too excited and then realising that she didn’t actually want me at all lmao. It’s sad and disappointing, but I’ve known it for a while already. At least now it’s confirmed, and I don’t have any regrets about going through with my suicide anymore.

She’s not gonna love me, ever, and she’s turned off by me loving her. And I’m not gonna stop loving her, either, and that turns her off even more. The more I tried, the less she likes me. Well I’m finally gonna stop trying, and soon I will finally stop feeling hurt, and she will also finally be free from

Title. If I failed with my attempt, what’s the worst that can happen?

So this is half journal post, half asking for support and advice.

A brief background on us. Me (M29) and her (F28) started out as classmates (online masters course in music education, we’re both music teachers), then we became friends from our shared interests. We became a long-distance couple, things went so well for two months and she was into me just as I was into her, but tragedy struck her family, her grandaunt died, and she became distant until she decided that she doesn’t want a romantic relationship, because she’s been single for ten years and she’s been too used to the single lifestyle and felt that relationships “restrict” her freedom. I was heartbroken but relented to her request

So this is half journal post, half asking for support and advice.

A brief background on us. We started out as classmates, then we became friends from our shared interests. We became a long-distance couple, things went so well for two months and she was into me just as I was into her, but tragedy struck her family, her grandaunt died, and she became distant until she decided that she doesn’t want a romantic relationship, because she’s been single for ten years and she’s been too used to the single lifestyle and felt that relationships “restrict” her freedom. I was heartbroken but relented to her request. This was also around the time when she said that I was too clingy and desperate for love

A song I wrote as a form of therapy for my BPD.

(Verse 1)

I can feel her right here Sitting next beside me Head’s reaching for her shoulder Eyes locked on the TV

She was the song I couldn’t sing A melody overwhelming She’s been a queen without a king And I’m a pauper lost in dreams

(Hook A1)

Oh my God, she’s so heavenly Hope she won’t ever get rid of me She’s sugar-laced with dopamine I’m kissing ghosts in nicotine

(Verse 2)

I’m fragile like porcelain Touch my paper skin Let her carve her name right in So I won’t suffer in vain

Oh she’s a sinner, she’s a saint She said “slow down”, I didn’t think She ran through my thoughts like a rain She danced through fears I overthink

(Hook A

We broke up. You said that you don’t have romantic feelings for me, that I’m getting too attached too soon, that I’m moving too fast, that you felt pressured by my expression of affection and in return forced yourself to respond but you just couldn’t. You’re just not the expressive romantic type you said.

And yet you still want to keep me around as friends, BFFs even. Casual partners, casual relationship, casual bf/gf, just having fun and enjoying spending time together and going on fun dates and activities, you said. Something healthy and mature, you said.

I set a dateline for you to develop feelings for me. December next year. I told you if you still don’t have feelings for me by then, I