EmbarrasingQuestionU

I've never had lots of friends but for some time now I've had no friends. The only friend I have is my partner. I love him and no one ever understood me like he does but I have no one else with whom to share anything. And I also really miss havin female friends.

From lots of school changes, strict parents and bein the weird girl I was never popular. On my twenties I started putting more attention on my appearance and suddenly people started treating me better.

But I act. I'm not genuine around other, I'm extremely careful with anything I show of myself and I tend to mimic the vibe rather than show myself. The only friends I've had through my 20s have been friends Ive mantained with a lot

I think the rejection, the abandonment, the neglect hurts so much because it's a primal pain. We are animals, we are not above nature nor instinct. And we are mammals, we are social animal. We need others, we need the warmth.

We humans are an allopatental species. It takes more than just a mother and father to raise a human because of how long they take to get autonomous. We are raised by a village literally.

To isolate a member of the "pack" is to reject them completely, to abandon them to nature. And to a child it's a death sentence.

Idk... Just something I've been thinking. I often struggle to even mention how deep I feel this thing goes for me.

I dislike olives, I have disliked olive since I was a kid. Whenever my parents make meat empanadas they put olives in them. When I went to grab some I asked if they had olives. My mother told me no, they didn't have. She knows I dislike olives.

Guess what was in the fucking empanadas? Yes, olives. She does this everytime and about everything else.

I remember being s pre-teen sitting across from her on the table and asking is this bell pepper? "No it isn't". IT IS FUCKING BELL PEPPER. Why would you continue to lie to my face when it's obvious?

And it has been the perfect example to explain her disregard for me. For my agency, my autonomy and my voice. She will lie to me, make me.doubt mys

I have known H (M25) for about 2 years, I have gone out with him for about 1 year and a half but only started taking things seriously since 6 months ago. We didnt get sriously before because when I met H he had recently broken off a 6 year relationship under very delicate circumstances. When I met him he was a mess. He was struggling with addiction and he was living with his grandfather and without a stable job.

For obvious reasons I didnt wasnt interested in a relationship back then. But we were both having a hard time with life in generally, and after a bad break up, and we made each other company. Slowly I started falling in love, I discovered he was incredibly sweet and one of the most

So, Ive been seeing this guy and there have been a lot of issues. That's not surprise since he is an addict. The main issue has been me, I keep coming back, obviously there is something I need to work through.

Near the end of October of this year he came back from a sort of retreat (let's call it that) in which his family had sent him so he would figure his shit out. He came back saying he wanted to stop consuming and that he wanted to be with me. Both resolutions lasted around 3 weeks.

Everyone knew this would happen, I had hoped it wouldn't thou. You can imagine it hurt like shit regardless and that is without saying a lot of the stuff he said to me.

Last Monday he said he wanted to

So, Ive been seeing this guy and there have been a lot of issues. That's not surprise since he is an addict. The main issue has been me, I keep coming back, obviously there is something I need to work through.

Near the end of October of this year he came back from a sort of retreat (let's call it that) in which his family had sent him so he would figure his shit out. He came back saying he wanted to stop consuming and that he wanted to be with me. Both resolutions lasted around 3 weeks.

Everyone knew this would happen, I had hoped it wouldn't thou. You can imagine it hurt like shit regardless and that is without saying a lot of the stuff he said to me.

Last Monday he said he wanted to

So, Ive been seeing this guy and there have been a lot of issues. That's not surprise since he is an addict. The main issue has been me, I keep coming back, obviously there is something I need to work through.

Near the end of October of this year he came back from a sort of retreat (let's call it that) in which his family had sent him so he would figure his shit out. He came back saying he wanted to stop consuming and that he wanted to be with me. Both resolutions lasted around 3 weeks.

Everyone knew this would happen, I had hoped it wouldn't thou. You can imagine it hurt like shit regardless and that is without saying a lot of the stuff he said to me.

Last Monday he said he wanted to

So, Ive been seeing this guy and there have been a lot of issues. That's not surprise since he is an addict. The main issue has been me, I keep coming back, obviously there is something I need to work through.

Near the end of October of this year he came back from a sort of retreat (let's call it that) in which his family had sent him so he would figure his shit out. He came back saying he wanted to stop consuming and that he wanted to be with me. Both resolutions lasted around 3 weeks.

Everyone knew this would happen, I had hoped it wouldn't thou. You can imagine it hurt like shit regardless and that is without saying a lot of the stuff he said to me.

Last Monday he said he wanted to

I'm tired, that's it. I'm tired of giving and not receiving. I'm tired of making an effort and not achieving anything. I'm tired of being told it has something to do with me.

That is it. I'm done. I've complained about my therapist here before. It's obvious to me know she has out me on a box and decided what type of person I am and to give advice based on that, even if that is not who I am. K regret the time, energy and money I wasted. Going forward I know I want a therapist that feels comfortable telling me sometimes it's not about me, sometimes I can't do anything and the world will suck. Because if not I will keep trying and trying and will never feel enough.

This year started relativel

Look, I understand encouraging others to be more positive as to not fall into a cycle of only seeing the bad things and being depressed about them. I'm in support of that. But why is that people are so uncomfortable when it comes to hearing about the not good side of things.

I know, it's no fun to listen to bad stuff. But there are just there, and by not accepting them and finding and outlet for them, they become worse. Talking about them comes with people needing to constantly remind you or point out the "good things".

And dude, I'm aware of them! I'm aware I'm in a better place than a year ago, and that I've made some progress. But I'm also aware that the progress I've made is minimal an

My issue with therapy is how it only ever focuses on the patient but I feel it often fails to adrees the environment. I've been through 4 therapist and they all share this.

I understand focusing on the patient because it's the only part in the equation that can change with the therapy, but sometimes I feel as if my therapists speak like the world was a perfect machine where if you play right you win. And that's not at all reality.

No matter how much I work on myself and try to make new and better friendships if the people I meet aren't interested it won't happen. It's not entirely dependant on me! The same when I express I feel lonely, therapist tell me I won't feel lonely if I have mysel

That is it. The tittle. Except for one that lasted very little the other three men I've dated all seemed to resent me. And I think at their core it's because they simple don't like me. They may like my body and face, how I treat them, but not who I truly am.

Mí first boyfriend resented that I was taller than him and that I wore short hair because he felt emasculated and it worsened his already low self esteem about his masculinity. We were sixteen.

My second boyfriend was also insecure. He had very low self esteem and had issues socializing. He often made me feel insecure about myself and he acted like he didn't want to be with me even thou he was the one who asked to get back together e

I am so high right now. But I'm so happy and euphoric at the moment. I finally blocked him. I was having a "situationship" and I had tried to times to stop seeing him. I asked to not see each other for a few weeks and him agreeing but he ended up reaching out both times and every time I agreed to see him.We then restarted our situationship.

I say situationship because we were not in a relationship and we weren't friend, but we weren't just companions (it's the tittle we give each other in the political movement in my country) or acquaintances. We spent most days of the week at echa others houses and with this increased to seeing each other almost every day , we had sex too but spent all day

I (F22) checked all of my "friend"'s (M24) so isl media.

So a bit of backstory. There is this guy, let's call him Ray who I considered a friend. We started forming a sort of friendship that also included sex. Right from the get go we both clarified we didn't want anything romantic to form and we had something good. I tried to be there for him and he was there for me quite a bit too.

Thing is, Ray has a lot of issues, and the more I got to know him more issues came to light. One issue he told me about from nearly day 1 was that he was an addict. I knew this before he told me as we are from the same friend group/circle and that's how I got to know him. I never judged him for it and never tr