Jonabc5

Hi all,

This girl I’ve recently been seeing is giving me some bad vibes. Hot/cold, too many “disasters”, describes too many people as narcissists. Even said she has bpd traits but I’m starting to think she just has BPD.

I was with my diagnosed BPD ex for like 6 years so you think i should know the signs. Maybe i just don’t want to accept this but im starting to feel real down about myself like im causing problems.

I thought i met someone like me but idk anymore. I don’t know anything anymore. I want to talk and be direct about this issue but I’m afraid.

Does anyone have advice? My guts telling me something is off but I’m a real dumbass with this stuff.

I just feel a bit hopeless now. I can’t seem to get past this shit and its ruining me. I have instrusive memories i really don’t wish to remember constantly. Its been a couple years since but I just can’t forget. I don’t know what this is but its a nightmare. How on earth do you go forward from so much past crap?

Yeah don’t ever try do this first off. I hadn’t in i guess half a year but i got one of those facebook reminders to a picture of us years ago. It was just so weird seeing them now. Appears to be doing the “dream job” shuffle still, complaining about being lonely, has a favorite person etc. She even got her severely damaged teeth fixed (very fake looking now).

But just looking at all this bullshit social media façade, it still made me breakdown. Its like all the photos of me and everything are erased. Its like i never existed. It got to me that even though I can’t seem to fully get over everything she easily can forget someone who was around for 6 years. I know that her behavior has unlikely

I try to forget everything that happened. I certainly have tried to minimize the effects and not be, I don’t know how to phrase it well, a hurt little bitch. That my experiences with her are just me being overly sensitive and that its pathetic I can’t seem to move on.

I still after nearly 3 years broken up, and 2 years of remaining very close can’t seem to put the past behind me. The things she did to hurt me and severely effect my life, I feel im to blame since i allowed it to happen. I can’t stop thinking that even though I know its totally illogical. I couldn’t stand her victim mentality. I don’t want to be a victim or think how she thought of herself.

Something is seriously wrong with

So I was talkingbwith this girl for weeks hitting it off. Saw her last Saturday and things went well and we hooked up and i stayed the night. Sunday still texting, everything is still good but, then comes monday she says she dealing with stuff and needs a lone time. I was cool with that of course, I understand people need to do that sometimes. But today i went to text her and it came up green and not blue (both have iphones). Kinda leads me to think i got blocked and ghosted. What do you guys think? Im confused because it really seemed and sounded like everything went well. Oh well I guess.

Hey all,

Ive been NC from my ex for 2 weeks now but before that she used my credit card without permission to buy train tickets to her new supplies city. It felt good to do this, almost like deserved revenge. Still have to do the police report. Idk why but I’m weirdly hesitant to not get her in trouble but shes stolen from me so many times. It made me feel pathetic too. I don’t know why i deep down want to protect her but i really want legal consequences to her actions. I just thought it would be easier. Any words of encouragement? I know i need to get my money back and make her face reality but pathetically i still feel bad for her. I know its stupid.

So I’m still in contact with my expwBPD. I know its not the smartest idea but it started because I missed our dog/i dont know why i cant let go.

Anyway while looking back at an old texts from her old phone I noticed a pattern with her. She repeats this cycle of trashing her new supplies saying they are abusive and shit. That part is actually true as she sends me their text logs and one time had a black eye. She did this with her last supply and all i did was just keeping saying why dont you leave but she never does because she relies on these ppl for housing.

Shes in the same situation again with another guy and complains non stop but won’t leave because she’ll have no home. Its just crazy

So i have an ex with BPD. I ended things a little over a year ago when I found out she was cheating all the while when I was financially supporting her during her “mental health break” from work. I was NC for a while but we began talking again and ended up in a fwb situation.

Well things have been weird since that stopped. I dated and saw other people and she did as well. Thing thats really different now is she texts me a lot telling me all the problems with her new relationship. Says hes controlling, judgmental, etc. She also says how much she misses me, wants to visit or wants me to visit her. Shes also mentioned a past relationship that was physically abusive.

I’m just curious if she ju

So Sunday i was shooting some heroin/fentanyl mix. I did my usual 1 bag in the afternoon then thinking its the weekend fuck it i did 1 more. This is where i blacked out. My roommate says i went to the bathroom and after 20 mins in the with no response she opened the door (thank god the doors broken).

Apparently i did 2 more bags (again no recollection) passed out on the floor and i was making weird breathing noises. Then, and i didn’t know this was possible after 10 years on and off using, I had my first of 2 seizures. I was twitching oddly and my eyes went in the back of my head and on top i was literally foaming at the mouth.

At this part she said i began shallow breathing and literally

Recently, my ex has been reaching out to me. I had blocked her on all social media but could never pull the trigger on blocking her number. She says how the new guy shes with is a monster and she has her bags packed. Last week she said she was leaving his house soon.

She talked a bunch of crap about us getting, back together i heard some i loves you’s too. I kinda fell for it i guess, I’ve been just so depressed and lonely for a while now. Mind you we haven’t been together for like a year in a half now (was a 4 year relationship).

Of course, as i initially had thought to myself, this was a hoover attempt full of bullshit and false promises. Im embarrassed i kinda fell for it. I mean i know

I know stress can effect health and all but im curious to how common that is? I mean for me i get these crazy random syndromes. Right now i got another eye infection from a herpes virus migrate to my other eye. I hadn’t had this infection in months and out it pops on the other eye. Doc said its rare and happens if theres immune problems. I wonder if all the constant anxiety has pounded my immune system.

So my expwbpd (yes i know I shouldn’t interact with her but sometimes...) dropped by for a minute or two because her parents were picking her up at my place (I did not suggest to her at all to do that). She immediately starts talking shit on the exwife of some old dude shes seeing. Proceeds to go on about how shes crazy, compulsive liar and manipulative. I stared at my exbpd with the most confused look. Like ive said those things to her on multiple occasions. She then goes to the corner back room and slams a beer. She just said how shes quitting drinking 6-10 drinks a day. Her alcoholism was always an issue. The she wraps things up says, “I love you” while i look even more confused.

Obviou

Anyone else here who takes bupe (suboxone) after opioid abuse? Ive been on/off for 6 years with it and i can say i never would have stopped heroin without it.

In ways its a godsend but i feel like im reliant on its effective antidepressant qualities. Ive been off for 4 months before after a nice taper and i just felt not quite right. Certain life events haven’t helped either. Even when on antidepressants and clonazepam (prescribed) i still could not alleviate the intense depression.

So i guess what im asking is, is there anyone else who just likes being on it not because of cravings for hard opioids but for the mental status benefits. I have a close friend i used to run with who feels the