ProfBatman

Let's write a Seinfeld!

So when I was in college I got HPV (dick warts). The treatment for this involved getting the warts on my member lasered off. So I was strapped to a table, legs spread, laser mounted just above me, awaiting anesthesia. Nervously trying to break the tension, I said "you really expect me to talk?". And as the absolutely cool anesthesiologist put the mask on me, he replied "No Mr. Bond, I expect you to die". I'll admit, having to deal with healing laser burns on my junk was awful, but that dude made my day so much better.

I'm interviewing for office jobs (have pretty much worked in culinary until now) and need to find some good shirts, slacks, ties etc. I've checked out a couple department stores but everything there seems aimed at someone twice my age (I'm 32). Are there any young professionals that can recommend a place?

I got a digital copy of New Horizons and have been playing for a few months now. My roommate would like to play as well and made a profile on my Switch but when he tries to start Animal Crossing it says he can't play because he didn't buy the game. Do I really have to by the game twice just to let my friend try it out?

edit: ok figured it out. Apparently I created a Nintendo profile while drunk on a friend's Switch 4 years ago. It's tricky but if you log into your Nintendo profile on a computer or phone you can deregister your accout and reregister YOUR Switch as the primary console. Also after spending all this time setting it up, my roommate got bored of animal crossing in 10 minutes

I have pretty bad adhd and I find watching tv with subtitles on helps me follow the story better. Usually Netflix does a great job with subtitles, but I've just started watching The West Wing and it seems like the subtitles are like 60% accurate at best. They generally give a summary of what is being said instead of an actual transcription of the dialogue. Anyone else notice this?

Ever see a kitten that was so cute you had a weird urge to crush it? I tried a Culver's burger recently and it was so good my reaction was almost rage. Like I took a bite and wanted to put my fist through my windshield. New favorite fast food.

There has gotta be a better pic to use for the banner in this sub where the Ohio river doesn't look like chocolate syrup.

I haven't been riding nearly as much lately because of the heat and am looking into doing rides after 9pm. I ride on a well-paved bike trail where I don't have to worry about cars whatsoever but it's heavily wooded and not lit at all. I have a pretty basic front light for my bike which is ok as a last resort if I end up out late, but I'd like to invest in a high quality light. Can anyone recommend something super bright?

If I wanted to send a postcard with a thank you message to the folks who designed the Forester that reliably took me in a giant circle around the U.S. through plains and mountains and deserts and redwood forests, across endless Kansas highways and desolate switchbacks in the low Sierras, across Death Valley, the central coast of California, the Mojave, the enchanted high desert of New Mexico, and all the 6500 miles of America this wonderful car took me through, who would I address that to?