Top_Locksmith

yeah, that's where i'm headed

INT. HEADGUM OFFICES

JAKE, AMIR and REILLY are sitting along the conference room table

JAKE: I lied at the bank and told them that the company wasn't dying so they lent me enough money to buy a bitcoin but I dropped it down the drain just as I got outside the crypto store

AMIR: That sucks

REILLY: I don't think that's how bitcoin works at all

GEOFF enters wearing a tall chef hat

GEOFF: You guys busy? There's a couple of things I wanted to tell you about

JAKE: You've got another pitch?

AMIR: Let me guess. "Chef hats... for all the Matts"

GEOFF: What? No. My dad had a barbeque this weekend so I got to talk to some of his friends. Turns out one of them sells audio thi

Last week I shared a pepe meme in the work groupchat and quickly deleted it and "wrong chat" but this roastie screenshot it and showed it to HR

They connected me to a polygraph and asked if I ever had sex and if I hate women obviously I quickly answered that I respect women the maximum amount allowed by law and that I worship the pussy in all its very forms and expressions and that I watched Captain Marvel 500 times but they wouldnt believe me I dont know what else to do pls halp

I (17m) recently confronted my mom (32f) about her decision of bringing home every guy she fucks. Usually I just see a different 30yr old guy sitting on the couch every other weekend watching tv, at first I acknowledged them but as time and number went by I just start ignoring them. That was tolerable, until yesterday.

I was planning staying up late studying but I just couldn't hear my own thoughts over the sound of their fucking. This went up to 2 am, needless to say I couldn't study and I barely could sleep, but the icing on the cake was when this huge guy nudges me awake at 5am and asks me to teach him to play R6S.

So i just sat on my bed semi awake teaching this guy that you should put

We've hit the fucking jackpot with this shit. It's the most effective tool to purge this sub from IT lurkers and fakecels and it was under our nose all this time.

From now on I say we spoil every single movie, tv show, videogame, book or anything these faggots are glorifying.

"Yeah but we may end up spoiling things we also enjoy" So? Dude, you want a real life spoiler? We're gonna die alone because our bones don't have a certain shape. Now that's a spoiler.

Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he swallowed the black pill and feels all alone in a threatening world where his looks determines his success with both men and women.

Doctor says, "Treatment is simple. Great reddit user BrazilianSigma is posting tonight. Go to IT and see him. That should pick you up."

Man bursts into tears. Says, "But doctor...I am BrazilianSigma".

Doctor replies "Then get a job you piece of shit"