apatheticviews

One of the most dangerous species to exist, yet other species on the planet have ancestral memory or instinct to ask for help when they have no other choice.

Little did we know humans compassion and empathy were what made them so dangerous.

They use the colloquial term "Dad/Mom" reflexes.

They also use the colloquial term "Old Man Strength."

Attempts to study this phenomena have resulted in "That's not possible."

So I read this book at least twice (forgetting that I read it the first time). I believe it is a late 1990s/early 2000s novel.

It is set in modern times. I believe Britain. Protagonist (narrator?) is a Magician/Wizard who refers to magic as being Uphill (more difficult) or Downhill (less difficult). A pair of siblings (Older sister, younger brother) end up following him as he is shifting realms. Sister ends up as love interest at end. Brother ends up leaving notes to himself, in case his memory is wiped.

Protagonist has a neighbor (flawed memory says name is Michael?) who keeps asking for rides to wherever the protagonist is going.

I want to reread it, but for the life of me cannot reme

So I’m out at Autozone harassing the sales staff about what the best blocks to put my Michael Bay Transformer Bumblebee Camaro on, and I see this young pup running around in a white t-shirt.

Now I’m normally not an asshole about this kind of thing, but I had to say something. So I go “Hey Marine!” And he says “rah.” That’s cool, he doesn’t know me from Chesty. So I identify myself as a Gunny and let him know that “wearing ONLY a white shirt is against regs. Dude tells me to “shut up.”

I honestly don’t think he realized he was Donald Ducking around the place, with nothing but a T and Yellow Crocs.

At that point I had three realizations. Does it need to be said? Does it need to be said by m

From: Office of Reddit Intelligence (ORI)

To: Commanders Joint Chiefs of Staff

Subj: Operation Phantasma Cacans (Phantom Shitter)

1. COMMINT identified a recent post "It Was Me" identified u/ClickittyClark as the aforementioned "Phantom Shitter"

https://www.reddit.com/r/USMC/comments/1l6ow3l/it_was_me/

Based on this intel, we are recommending immediate recall, lobotomy, and promotion to 1stSgt. Let's see how this fucker likes it.

Company Guns here.

So I have this dense motherfucker who keeps getting NJPs. His most recent one was for Frat with a Thicc Latina E3. I tried to convince the CO to just send him to 9th Crime, but "Guns... isn't that a little harsh?" so he does 45/45 at 50% pay. Of course, all that does is make me have to find a room for him.

I've always had a policy of assigning roommates that piss each other off "just a little bit," because if Marines ain't bitching, they ain't happy. Come to find out LCpl Cupcake has an open room because his last roommate through himself off the balcony wearing a poncho liner screaming "The wind is perfect tonight," some seven months ago, and is still in a full body cas

So there I was hanging out in the company office like I do most of the time.

All of the sudden the Company Commander yells for this boot Lt to get in the office, and just starts lighting him up. Something about "Making him a great lieutenant or some shit." The LT eventually just snaps, calls the CO "toxic" and asks "Why are you riding my ass like this?"

The CO is like "Riding your ass!?! Riding your ass! You ain't seen nothing yet."

Next thing I know, I'm a shitpost.....