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One day a few months I looked ahead on the daycare calendar and saw that we had to send in {drumroll} a potato. I purchased said potato and sent it in on the right day. And then it came back in my son’s backpack untouched. So I kept it in there. And it got sent back. All week. They never even used it. I finally asked the teacher and she just shrugged. Can anyone beat a potato?

Are you ready to be the hero of your upcoming holiday potluck? I found this recipe on the Trader Joe’s website years ago and won a cookie making contest at my office the first time I made them. They’re the kind of cookie where people take a bite absent-mindedly and do a double-take. And they couldn’t be easier. I’ve never had one break or overflow. You should definitely refrigerate the dough for an hour before forming them, otherwise it’s so soft it’s unworkable.

https://www.traderjoes.com/home/recipes/preposterously-peanut-butter-cup-cookies

Does your mother-in-law lovingly pull out her heirloom China for special occasions? Does your aging father rave about how his cookware has lasted for decades unlike “all that junk they sell these days”? Does your great aunt tell you about all the deals she gets at estate sales? Time to buy some lead testing swabs.

My sister discovered online that the special dishes we used every single holiday at my mom’s contained lead, so when we visited for Christmas I bought some swabs to test other things in the kitchen and four different things tested positive. For everyone’s sake, please find a diplomatic way to test so the exposure stops.

Try your local dying mall! We’re visiting my mom for Christmas and she lives in a small apt. It’s -10 degrees outside. My toddler’s mostly keeping it together but definitely needed to blow off steam. We’re still very covid-conscious so didn’t want anywhere crowded so at first we laughed when my mom suggested the mall on Christmas Eve day. We went early yesterday and saw about 10 people over 90 minutes in the enormous space, went today and saw about 4 people there to go to the movies. Lots of pretty lights and even some coin operated things to ride, though my kid is small enough he just liked sitting in them without them being on.

Big win for safe sleep! A couple days ago the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission warned DockaTot that its Deluxe + Dock violates the new regulations that went into effect in June, so any manufactured after June 23,2022 are now illegal to sell here. Unclear on other models, but I’m hoping this is the beginning of the end for them. They’re already illegal to sell in Canada. Hopefully it will be a full recall soon so people can get a refund and they won’t be able to sell all their pre-June stock to more unsuspecting parents.

A carpet cleaner, a detachable shower head for cleaning both you and baby at the same time, buckets or small trash cans for soaking gross clothes, and a good tub drain to catch solid pieces. Can you guess what I dealt with this morning? What other non-Instagrammable baby items does no one discuss?

Last year the US Consumer Product Safety Commission passed rules that as of today, June 23, 2022 certain unsafe sleep products can’t be manufactured and sold without meeting federal standards. This means no more inclined sleeping products, in-bed sleepers (“travel beds” or “co-sleepers” as they’re often labeled), fabric bumpers (though mesh ones are still frustrating allowed), or sleep hammocks can be manufactured and marketed! I’m sure predatory companies will find ways around it and I can still see dangerous products posted on major websites, but hopefully this gives consumers a path to fight back!

My husband and I are constantly making references we think are hilarious but our baby won’t understand even when he grows up. Some examples:

-When our baby is working hard to push out poop we yell “Who does #2 work for?” from Austin Powers. -When I’m sick of singing kid songs I’ll do the Fresh Prince of Bel Air rap. -When he fusses for a bottle we use the 30 Rock line “Family, who’s in charge of my thirst?!” -When we talk about animal noises or sing Old McDonald we do one of the bad chicken impressions from Arrested Development.

What are yours?

My baby is 4.5 months and my husband and I have taken turns taking leave to care for him. Despite assurances we would get in on time, our daycare doesn’t have space at either center, so our son is going to an in-home babysitter starting today. I’m not thrilled bc my husband and I both had bad experiences at in-homes growing up. Need help figuring out a path forward once space does open up! In the US if that matters. Options:

1. In home: Its a lovely woman who cares for only one other child. Fully licensed. Baby would get more individualized attention and be exposed to fewer germs than a daycare center. But there’s no oversight or redundancy—I have to trust her and there’s no backup if she h