here4reason

I saw a post by an earnest 20-something year old earlier about how she felt so dejected due to romantic rejection. And as a 30-something year old with a lot of rejections under her belt, I wanted to share some of my experiences and perspectives in hopes that it makes you young ones feel a bit better ;)

Romantic rejections aka all the times I cried over cake & pizza

1. My ex broke up with me on my birthday only to tell me that he was in love with someone else. That someone else was a good friend of mine. I had even hung out with them when they were hooking up. I was completely oblivious. One minute I was having cake, the next minute I was crying all over it. Right after that inciden

Ok, so hear me out. There was a very thoughtful post recently that asked us to examine the backlash Shake received as opposed to Shayne. While I absolutely agree that race continues to play a role in our daily interactions, I also do not want to ever defend a man like Shake. As a desi woman that partly grew up in India, I have met many versions of Shake in my life...hell some of them are my closest family members. My brother-in-law's expected my sister to raise children, have a high-paying job in California AND take care of their home. In my own personal life, I have had the misfortune to briefly date a dude that would tell me that his life and career would always be more important than mine

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I had made a post over a month ago regarding a friend that was literally family who was dealing with many demons. I am basically their punching bag when they feel anxious, depressed, or frustrated with life. All their negative thoughts come unfiltered to me. They have promised to cut down on their drinking and drugs but have refused to get sober (they admit they are addicted to substances but refuse to get clean at this present moment in time). I have tried to disconnect emotionally while also being there for them. But sometimes their words cut through. A few days ago something really great happened in my own personal life and this person's first reaction was to cut me down for it. I feel li

Ever since Taylor Nolan's tweets became public, I have felt a bit like a truck hit me. I was in disbelief and then I was just angry. As a South Asian with anxiety, I absolutely still feel like someone has violated my safe space by pretending to be an ally but there is also something I need to get off my chest:

I used to be anti-feminist. I used to say things like I am an "egalitarian." I would mock feminists and say things like I am not "like other girls." I would brag about how most of my friends were guys because they are "so much less drama." This was me between 14 and 19 years of age. I slut shamed Ginny Weasley.

This may seem like dumb teenage angst but there is more to it than that (

Hi everyone,

Long time lurker, first time poster. I have been reading posts for a while but I need your help right now. Two friends and I are holding an intervention for a friend this weekend. We aren't bringing in an intervention expert and nor are we going to float the idea of rehab. There are reasons we cannot do either. This person (who is one of my closest friends) is in a terrible shape. She has been through trauma after trauma mostly because of the group that also supplies her with the alcohol and drugs. We have tried to talk about this in the past and she has shut us down. In the past few years, her entire life has become this toxic and abusive group. She has isolated herself from e

I am officially a fan of how she has handled herself. Class act.

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I generally don't like the stan culture but I understand people being fans of artists, writers, musicians, scientists. Why are they stans of Hannah Brown? Any critique against her results in racist microaggressions and overt aggressive defensiveness. I keep trying my best to not actively hate BN but the way she has people jumping in front of her to attack POC that criticise is painful and hurtful. I still don't understand why she evokes such an immense reaction from people, especially racists.

Take this down if these are against the rules but I haven't seen any discussion on this matter. Josh Murray has been selectively and aggressively 'liking' Tweets that are decidedly anti-Black Lives matter and very pro-RACIST. He truly is the worst and while I am not remotely surprised, some of his likes have made me feel sick physically. I am not posting screenshots of them because they are so unbelievably triggering. This man doesn't even deserve cold, soggy pizza.