My narc dad is a brick wall; just impossible. Just when he fools me into thinking he has changed, he makes an ass of himself. We are NC after he told me my schizophrenia was my choice. I may have spit on him for that.
Not everyone is your narc parent. What I mean is this: narcs are so easily upset and are so binary in the way they show their "kindness" and aggression that they have traumatized us into looking for those same cues in other people. My narc dad had the most conditional "unconditional" love imaginable.
We know what will set them off, their body language, tone of voice, word choice, patterns, etc. We learned THEM as people to survive and be able to anticipate their bullsh
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