jctwake

Okay, this is epoch.

My uncle Darren has always had a tough go at life. He was a shy boy, always gravitated toward animals rather than children his age. He did have a unique gift though -- he was extremely flexible. Not your average twink flexibility, no, he was Stretch Armstrong incarnate.

He and my mom had an extremely rough childhood; workaholic parents, neglectful babysitters, and housemaids who couldn't speak English. In middle school, he started to act out his frustrations through performative stretching. He would lick his elbows, stick his head through his legs and waddle, even spin his head around like that girl in that one movie. People started to notice him, and he liked that.

I got to give him

Beware of those who partake in the ancient art of vaporizing. They are not hobbyists nor thrill-seekers, they are the oracles of our time.

Conjuring up prophetic clouds, the vaporizers foretell a future plagued with devastating cyclones, nuclear mushroom clouds, and raining rings of hellfire. Their gauged ears are not fashion statements but portals into the Other Realm.

Not only can they gaze into the future, they can actively influence it. Their thick, chemical-laden clouds transform into monstrous Cumulonimbus storms. Their stylish French Inhales result in grocery market shootings. They are wizards with unchecked power; their wand -- a sub-ohm mod.

Currently, vaporizers leverage the

So I walked on a plank with a captain of a boat name of Gary. He knew a little about boats, not as much as me because I have 5 of boats.

"How come you don't have a captain's hat?"

"This is a captain's hat. This is what real captains wear."

"What's the most important thing about boats?"

"Safety."

"Nope. The most important thing is stay in the boat."

"I think that goes along with the safety issue."

"I know. I have five boats."

"Then you should know exactly what we're talking about."

"I do. Alright, enough of this jibber-jabberin'. Let's cast off onto the high seas with Captain Gary."

"Sounds good."

"Sounds good for me too."

"Watch your step! Are you okay?"

*Narrator mouth-BRAAAP

Poor soul just got deal-raped into a 2019 Nautique G23 with 8000lbs of ballast. He says "that's what the pros use" and that his son is going to be the next Parks Bonifay, whoever that is. I think he's like the Tony Hawk of waterboarding or something? Sounds like a bottom-dweller.

He keeps going on and on about the picklefork bow, the 12in tower speakers, and Perfect Pass^tm speed control system. Can't turn a whore into a pretty lady.

Fricken boat shows. I'm pretty sure they pump vaporized benzo dust into the air vents to lower peoples' inhibitions. Now my friend is out $120k on a glorified tubing boat. Why can't people do the responsible thing and just buy a standup paddleboard?

2^0 ~ "won"

2^1 ~ "to" / "too"

2^2 ~ "for" / "fore"

2^3 ~ "ate"

I know it seems a bit draconian, but It seems like there are so many folks that are just complacent with picking out news stories or making bold claims about the state of the campaign without contributing in the way we need it most -- phonebanking. I know a lot of people do their fair share by volunteering in a variety of other ways, but we are truly in "do or die" mode and we can't be led astray by trivial news gossip or anti-Clinton propaganda. It also plays into the socialist aspect of the future we want -- put in a bit of work and good things will come.

So what I ask is: Can the mods put some type of restriction that cross-references a user's berniePB login info (the one generated dail