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hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt

Is it weird I want to cut or kill myself over something extremely minor? so that people will think “well that proves it, this bitch was really messed up in the head” when they find out. like, they will justify it to themselves “we couldn’t have known this would fuck her over”- but still feel a little guilty as it was so easy to avoid.