searchinglyWordy

it's past midnight and i'm just staring at my ceiling because i can't sleep at all. i tried watching a movie earlier to distract myself but it didn't really work, i just kept thinking about how we used to always share snacks and laugh at the dumbest things. it feels so weird not texting you right now to tell you about my day. like my brain automatically wants to open our chat and then i remember we don't talk anymore. it’s a really hollow feeling ngl. i found a receipt from that stupid diner we went to on our anniversary last month in my bag today and i almost started crying in public. it’s crazy how fast someone goes from being your entire world to just a stranger you have tons of memories

it is literally midnight and my heart is beating out of my chest because i thought a cold brew at 7pm was a great idea. pure genius. now i’m just lying in the dark watching random YouTube essays about history. down to text if anyone else is having a caffeinated crisis or just wants to swap lowkey banter. down-to-earth people to the front please lol

he has been sitting at the edge of my bed just growling at it on low speed for the last twenty minutes. like buddy it’s been there your whole life please relax 😭 now he’s got me staring at it too and lowkey overthinking it lol. my evening is completely derailed. if anyone is awake and wants to talk about their weird pets or literally anything else while i monitor this situation hmu before i lose my mind.

now my lips just hurt and i look ridiculous. idk how people do it so effortlessly?? it's a scam tbh. i should probably be doing something productive instead of hyperfocusing on useless party tricks but here we are.

anyway hellooo. if anyone is awake and wants to talk about other random skills they can’t master, slide into my dms. keep me company pls :)

like i have an exam in literally five hours but instead im deep in a youtube rabbit hole watching some guy named Jonas hyper-tap a controller from 1990. my room is a mess and i should be sleeping but here we are.

anyway if anyone else has a completely ruined sleep schedule and wants to talk about random hyperfixations, hmu. ideally don’t judge my life choices right now lol

so my brain refuses to shut off tonight. just lying here thinking about how weird it is that we all just exist on a floating rock? idk... existential thoughts at 2am hits different 😭

anyways i need a distraction from my own mind lol. if you're a chill person who is also wide awake and wants to swap random midnight thoughts, hmu. let's just have a relaxed conversation :)

it’s taking over my entire gaming chair at this point. like i will do literally anything else except fold clothes. right now i’m just rewatching clips of the office for the hundredth time instead 🫠 why is laundry the absolute worst chore??

if anyone wants to keep me distracted from my responsibilities for a bit, my dms are open. tell me what chore you constantly avoid lol

it's literally 4am and i'm currently deep in a rabbit hole watching videos of people restoring old rugs?? why is it so satisfying though 😭 like i have stuff to do tomorrow but here I am, mesmerized by dirt being washed out of wool.

anyway, since my internal clock is totally broken, is anyone else awake and down for some random late night banter? hmu with your weirdest nighttime hyperfixations lol

it’s past midnight and i’m just staring at my ceiling listening to the rain outside. honestly it sucks because this weather always reminds me of how we used to just stay in and do absolutely nothing for hours. we would just watch dumb movies and talk about everything and nothing. now my room just feels completely huge and empty and it's kind of messing with my head tonight.

i keep telling myself that breaking up was for the best and i’ve been doing okay during the day mostly. i stay busy with work and stuff but as soon as everything goes quiet at night my brain just spirals. i keep checking my phone even though i know your name isn't gonna pop up. it’s just a really hard habit to break i gu

literally felt like a failed plant mom for months because this little guy was struggling so hard. but i just checked and there’s a microscopic green sprout coming in. feel like a proud parent ngl.

anyway i have zero energy to go to bed yet so i'm just hanging out. if anyone is down for some lowkey late night chats, hit me up. keep it chill pleaseee