temporalclock

literally nothing makes me happy anymore

That's all. If not then, then in the next couple years.

I’ve felt lonely and like shit my entire life. I have no self-respect or self-esteem, and I’ve become a fucking doormat. Not a single brain cell in my head thinks I deserve love or anything good in life. No therapy, medication, or socialization has helped.

So what if I live in NY? This entire place is a massive capitalist turdbucket. I wanna get the fuck out!

None of my medications have any effect, and I’m still as confident as I have been my whole life (not confident at all). Have I actually reached the end?

i can’t stand this. i hate myself so much for finding people attractive, knowing how much i suck. I’m scared shitless of women, and I’m shit personality and looks-wise. it just hurts, knowing that I’ll die alone (no friends either) due to irreversible damage. happiness is a privilege, and if I’m destined to be alone, ok.

i feel like such a disgusting incel. god make it stop please

When I was a newborn, I contracted a virus that almost killed me. Normally, it isn't much of an issue for anyone. But considering the fact that I was born prematurely and was a newborn, it was a major issue. Now I'm wishing that it had killed me, 'cause I've felt like shit for half my life.