r/u_GenX_Defect

When I'm with a new cocksleeve as much as I don't want to admit it, I still have nervous apprehensions. A slight tremble in the stomach.

I think it's good, reminds me to err on the side of safety, and that I'm still a human being with another human being and there are laws meant to protect her from men like me. I understand this, even if she doesn't.

So when I say "safety", I mean mine from consequences, not hers from me. She put her safety at risk in hopes of achieving something through me she "needed".

I should also note that I am as much a product to her as she is to me by this point. I've been manipulated too in varying degrees, and now here we both are...victims of the other alo

My last night of January, 2026.

I was in a very bad way. I couldn't deny myself my needs. They encompassed all my thoughts wholly without relenting.

My head hurt and my breath couldn't be controlled. I was angry, confused and lost in frustrations. I went to lie down, closed my eyes and tried to focus. I don't know how long I laid there in the quiet stillness of my home. I didn't sleep, I drifted.

When I did get up, it was because I had a hard on. I couldn't help myself, so I did something I shouldn't do and headed for the bar a few blocks away after midnight.

I went to a bar I know the other broken go to. It's a dive with terrible bathrooms. I wouldn't trust the draft beer t

When I was a kid on the playground I would pull the ponytails or pigtails of the girls to make them cry. It made me happy to see them suffer pain, even happier that I was the reason they suffered. It's the only reason I looked forward to lunch at school.

The real trouble began when other girls raised their voices to me. Even today, if I hear a women's raised voice I immediately want to quiet it no matter how. I tense and am ready to protect myself. I want to fight.

I got into my first & the most trouble when I pulled one bitch around the playground by her ponytail. I dragged that smart mouthed cunt in the mud like a doll on a floor. I spit at her and called her names I didn't think